Lemon Lady's Home Coming Night

There are not many regrets that I have growing up, nor are there many things that I wish I had done that I didn't as a teen. I try to remember if I was as happy go lucky as these pictures appear.

Lemon Lady (as she likes to be called) is ready to celebrate 2010 Home Coming.

 As a kid, I thought I was pretty happy. It's only when I grew up that I knew that we didn't have a lot of money, that both my parents had to work in order to put food on the table and that the clothes on our backs were the equivalent of Wal-Mart specials. Yet........I wasn't unhappy with the way things were.

I know that we've tried to do things for our kids that, at least my parents, weren't able to do for us.We didn't go over board(in my opinion). We didn't buy them a car without some sort  of payback.......like keeping above average grades and having a part time job or participating in High School after school activities. We  had a budget for clothing. If they absolutely needed those $100 pants then there was nothing else left for other things. Funny how kids become good frugal shoppers when they have to use their own money to add to the clothing budget.

I dont' know where I was going with this but I think I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. I would never want to go back to the teenage years. Life was too tumultuous, too full of teenage drama, too full of hormones.......

naw........I like where I'm at now............

Lemon Lady's life has not been a bed of roses. Her father in prison and her mom....well her mom is a different story that I probably won't go into later.

She seems happy for the most part. She is smart and makes good grades, pretty and doesn't flaunt it, articulate and can express herself like an adult, and gregarious with many friends. She plays the flute in the marching band......she loves to sing......and she has those damn gorgeous dimples (not a braggy grandma or nothing like that!)

We implemented this rule last year.. In order to keep us from feeling like the only reason they come around is to get money or other stuff.......they must visit at least 2 times before asking for anything.  Lemon Lady doesn't have a problem with this. She visits often and very rarely asks for things....Princess in Training (who has a life in case your interested), on the other hand, seems to think the world is owed to her on a silver platter. She is only 12 going on 25.


We, as grandparents, try to make things a bit easier. We try to pamper them without over doing it.

All I know is I don't want any ingrate (thanks MacDougal Baby for the GOOD word!) grandchildren hanging around.

Happy Halloween

Halloween Glitter Graphics

MartyrMom Destroys Life

So Triple D and I are out at Chili's tonight. She gets on a roll about how I kept her from making friends by moving her to the best school in the county. I started the napkin with Ways my Mom Destroyed My Life....I said go for it sweetie, our dinner is late anyway.........she proceeded to write:

 

 As everyone knows a napkin has 8 sides........she used only half... I guess that makes me half good.....after I copied these, I promptly took the napkin to the toilet with me and wiped my big fat ass with it..........

Obsessions

Ok my niece is always sending her bro something to look at. This kid is all over YouTube. It seems he has become really popular and has even been interviewed by radio stations as well as one TV station.


It amazes me how YouTube can make some famous. This kid I can't stop watching. He has a whole lot more to watch but this is the one I chose.


It's official. I've become a blog junkie.
I don't know how to stop.
I wake up in the middle of the night wondering if GG has answered my question about Poh-Pohs.
I worry about Knockback's construction to her home and if Ernie the tomato squeezer will destroy HER sleep.
I dream of the pictures that Kelly may post and ponder where he's been.
I have to have alarms to remind me of appointments because I'm following Miss Footloose all over the world.
I fantasize when the next post from Mr. Gorilla will be posted.
I eat my chocolate cherry ice cream into the wee hours of the night as I  go through Missed Periods grammar lessons.
I spend hours searching the internet for Jerry's missing article even though I don't even know where to begin.
I obsess about Robert possibly bringing over a Russian bride and what Nance will do to him if he does.

AAAWWWW LAWDY...I can't name them all but.............

My breath quickens as I scroll through the comments of each of my blogs and click and read...click and read....follow and stalk..........follow and stalk.

You are an obsession, I cannot sleep
I am a possession unopened at your feet
There is no balance, no equality
Be still I will not accept defeat

I will have you, yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

Tuesday's Pony about to be Found

I saw this bumper sticker today and for some reason it made me happy....can't say thankful because...well, here is what it said :                      Person's name 
                                                                           7/7/1956-10/8/2008 
                                                                         Mission Accomplished

This person wasn't very old but how wonderful it must be to have accomplished what you were put here to do.....or better yet to feel that you've accomplished your purpose in your life time.

1. As the matriarch, I'm thankful for my family. Do you see why I'm a Martyr...wouldn't you be if your family looked like this???
Meet the rest of my family at Small World






2. Thankful my family doesn't have to go to food banks to find their next meal. PAY IT FORWARD - GIVE BACK - HELP THOSE IN NEED if you can!
I don't know why we always wait for the holidays to help but better now than never.....




3. I'll be thankful when November 2nd is over and done with. I'm tired of blathering  politicians. He said , she said is so old to me. Why does anyone vote when all that is ever said is how bad the opponent is ???

4. I'm up to playing tennis 4 times per week now. I'll be thankful when some of this fat  just melts off me .......uh.....excuse me?? could you pass the chocolate cherry ice cream???

5. I'm very thankful my daughter is another week clean....in spite of my son. I love Mikey but I'm double thankful he went back to his 7th Day Adventist Commune.

My World

 I follow Miss Footloose she is an ExPat and travels EVERYWHERE!! I just love her stories and pictures of all the places she's been. Her latest  post about Ecuador asked :

"Where would you like to live if you had a choice? What’s your paradise? What sort of lifestyle appeals to you?"

 I want to travel so badly........

I've done some traveling in the US of A, a couple of places in Canada, Germany, and a few Islands from a cruise ship. Although I'm glad that I've been able to do that, I want more....lots more.

I'm happy to live where I'm at right now and have no desire to have a home anywhere else except maybe a small cabin in the Smokies of Tennessee. I can see myself as a Snowbird. I really want to be a snowbird. Go to the mountains in the summer then come back to Florida in the late fall.

So here are the places I've been:

San Francisco/San Jose/ Los Gatos CA (lived there for almost 2 years)
Seattle WA
Canada (Victoria/Vancouver)
Germany
NC (all over...raised there)
Chesapeake/Norfolk/ Va. Beach.. VA(born and visited the grands in summer)
Gatlinburg Tenn (vacation)
Snowshoe WV (skiing)
Hazard KY (run away at 15.......why I went there is a long story)
Washington DC
Atlanta Ga (Olympics 1996)
St. Thomas/St Martin/St Kitt (cruise)

The places I want to go......

Assisi Italy (I hear it's a bit touristy but I use to do needlework and that was one of the techniques I really liked. The front looks just like the back. For anyone who has ever done needlework, you know how hard this is.......

 I don't want to go there for a day. I want to stay for a few weeks...really learn the culture and history of the place.

Barcelona Spain....I want to hear an authentic Flamenco Show.
I want to take a cooking class to taste the tastes of Spain. 
I want to go to the  top of the Tibidabo church and see the city.






I want to take bellydance classes in Istanbul Turkey.

I'll take the royal blue one Please! I also need to lose about 40lbs.

The programme includes-6 nights accomodation at hotel Kafkas in a double room
including open buffet breakfast
-Professional english speaking guiding all week
-Topkapi palace,Grand bazaar,Spice market tours
-2 nights dinner out with bellydancing show and live gypsy
musician restaurants
-All airport transfers
-Entrance fee for Topkapi palace(except harem)
-All meals mentioned in the itinerary
(B :breakfast,L :lunch ,D : dinner)
-6 hours bellydance classes with  Kumsal

Although I have a great many other places I'd like to visit, my list at this time would not be complete without :

The Red light District in Amsterdam

smoke a little weed and visit the Sexmuseum






    for the history...........of course!

Most Bizarre

I do wonder if the chimp was actually using the frog as a way to get off or if the frog got stuck and the chimp was just trying to pull it off.

Apes are supposedly the closest to humans so I would suspect that they might want sex for pleasure only. I don't know.

Maybe Mr. Gorilla Banans would like to answer those questions???
I don't go looking around on Youtube for such stuff but some of my friends are weird....Just saying........

Tuesday's Pony Possibly Lost in the Shit

I'm trying...really I am. I knew when I started this Tuesdays Pony that sometimes it might be hard. I thought that I'd try to write something each day and that would keep the positiveness on top of my mental thoughts......but.....I haven't written ever day. I've not thought about what is good daily......I've guess.....I've just taken it all for granted.

My son  Mikey  (Mikey will drink anything) is here for the week. Yesterday he arrived at around noon and by 2 he was slurring his words and asking stupid drunk questions like.......how do you spell my name? I didn't know if he was drinking or drugging since he's been known to do both (will someone PLEASE tell me how my gene pool became a cesspool? or is that the other way around? I have a cesspool for a gene pool?) Anyway, he spent all day yesterday drinking himself into oblivion.

This morning Triple D and I are discussing what happened yesterday and I'm telling her that he is NOT going to mess with my serenity. (I think I have some sage left) I'm telling her .... if he drinks today, I'm going to ask him to leave tomorrow. I tell her ....I don't know if he was only drinking but that I suspected he might have done some pills too. I ask her what she thinks and she proceeds to tell me she searched his car and only found Vodka.

I'm like.... WHAT??? What the hell??? So guess what my next question to Triple D was? Why did YOU search his car......her answer?? I wanted his drugs if he had any. She says she saw him "nodding" and thought he might have some in his car.

All I could think of was........vultures........vampires......leeches......something blood sucking or cannibalistic.

I swear..........they are going to be the death of me........

Now get this.....My daughter got her license suspended because she failed to pay her ticket for not having her license with her. She paid the ticket and now......she has to show that she got her license or they will suspend it again??? WTF?? I don't get it. Ok...if you show your license within the amount of time given you don't have to pay anything....if you show it late, you pay $33......if you accidentally, on purpose forget to pay it because your using all you money doing drugs pay it really late, you pay $137. So, technically you have to show your license no matter what.......why are they increasing the fees for being really late? Somehow it just doesn't make sense.

I do taxes for a living. October 15th was the last day to do your taxes if you filed an extension. I have this older lady that shows up on the 15th and she wants to finish her tax return. I have a mock return started that we sent to the IRS but no real numbers. So she says, 'what do you need first?'

I say "lets start with what you made in wages.

She says,"oooo do I need that ?"           

  I look at her with a smile but I'm thinking is she kidding me????

I say, "well,  can I see your income from interest"

She says, "Gosh, darlin', I didn't think to bring that".

I say "hummmm......what about your retirement documents?"

She says, "Uh, well, I know how many miles we drove back and forth the to doctor."

I say, "I don't know what difference that is going to make since I have no income to deduct it from. Do you want to go back home and get your stuff and we'll make an appointment for next week?"

.......yeah well.......we set the appointment for today.

I'd like to do the appointment  a bit earlier in the day so I ask the secretary (who also happens to be Julia my friend)   to see if she can change the time yesterday. She calls and the taxpayer says, "Wednesday will be much better for me."

Julia calls me while she has Ms. Taxpayer on the phone.

I can't do Wednesday.......

Julia goes back to Ms. T/P and I'm hearing Julia's sympathetic ohs and ahs coming over the phone. Julia comes back to me and says, Ms. T/P says she can't do it on Tuesday because she has lost all of her stuff and she needs to get copies from everyone.
 
I tell Julia to tell her to call  when she gets all her stuff and then we'll make another appointment.  
Nothing like a 3 way, is there?Sometime later that day Ms. T/P calls and says she has to get her taxes done before Friday because she is going on a cruise. Julia calls to relay this message......I say.........Gosh, how am I going to do her taxes if she doesn't have her stuff....I hear Julia sigh and she says "I know that is what I told her"..........I can feel Julia shaking her head.....LAWDY! LAWDY!......my  head hurts.

OOOOOOMMMMMMMM.....................OOOOOOMMMMM

1. I'm thankful that Triple D didn't find any drugs.
2. I'm thankful that Mikey is sober today.
3. I'm thankful they are all taking naps or gone so I can finish this without any more bitching.
4.I'm thankful Ms. T/P couldn't find stuff, cause I really didn't want to work this week anyway.
5. I'm REALLY thankful for chocolate pie, snickers, and chocolate cherry ice cream.......all in that order...

next week I'll do better

Miraculous Births

At 7pm, 21 years ago, an interesting and wondrous thing occurred. My son, Bob, the unknown muscian., was born. He completed the birth of 3 children all born on the same day, in the same family, within 7 hours of each other.

The story begins something like this:

I had been trying to get pregnant since April of 1988 since I did NOT want another child to be born in the heat of our summer which lasts from May-October. I had already had 2 kids born in mid-September and there was no way I wanted to go through that again.....anyway....It must have been age creeping up on me cause I sure as hell didn't have a problem getting pregro before.......

My sister had miscarried and she was told not to get pregnant for at least 6 months. I knew she was going to try as soon as possible because she had gotten married specifically to pro-create (she's the goodie two shoes in the family). She had miscarried in late November so she was going to have to wait until May before she could start trying.

Meanwhile, my brother (the baby) was getting ready to turn 21 the end of  December and was spending all his spare time partying and  doing what all 20 year old guys do........drinking, chasing women, doing the dirty deed when he got a chance.....oh wait...all guys do that no matter the age.....right??

The brother got to have his party at my parent's house with no supervision. Party like there is no tomorrow and guess what?? Along came a little girl, just 17 (I think), and my Bro did the dirty deed.....probably more than once that night. He had recently been discharged from the Navy and they had told him he was sterile (that was his story anyway)???? WHAT???NOT.!!!!.....first phone call in.....

OH MY GAWD!!! My Baby Brother is gonna be a D-A-D-D-Y and he's not married!!! My mom is all worried about what the church ladies are gonna think and is fearfully telling Bro that it probably ISN'T his baby......fornicator ............Little Girl finds out she is due the end of September. He did make an honest woman out of her and there would be no denying who the daddy is.....

We were contemplating rather we should stop trying or continue............A few weeks later I'm feeling bad cause I've just found out I'm prego and I know my sister is gonna be so sad. She really is feeling bad and kind of pissed that our Bother went and got a girl knocked-up pregnant outside of marriage. The Fornicator....... I'm pregnant and due mid- October.

Next thing you know.....Sis has not taken the Doc's advise and she is now pregnant too.....due end of October.

Sis, Me, Sis-in-law July 1989

We all went along for 9 months all getting bigger and bigger....as pregnant women tend to do.

Both my sis and sis-in-law were going to the same doctor, lived in the same town and had my parents there with them. They chose ultra sounds, doctor visits, and hospital stays.



I lived here in Florida and chose to fore go the ultra sound, doctor, and hospital. I had a mid wife and I would be delivering at the birthing center over looking the river (those were real popular in the 80's and I had had my daughter there).

They found out the sex of their kids........I wanted to be surprised......

The end of September came and went for my Sis-in-law and the Doc decided to induce labor if she had not had the baby by mid October. My Sis and I were still being told our due dates were the same....mine, Mid October...hers the end of October.

The 14th of October rolls around and the Doc tells Sis-in-law it's time and she is more than ready to get the show on the road. She goes into the hospital that night. The plans are to start labor on the 15th in the AM.

My Sis is at a wedding and she starts to feel cramps. She tells hubby that they should go check it out. The Doc says she is in labor but not really dilating but he wants her to stay for a while. She starts into hard labor and they give her Demerol which brings her labor to a screeching halt and she sleeps through the night.

At 5am October 15th I wake with that nagging feeling.......I wait until 8am before I go over to the birthing center to bother anyone.

My Sis wakes up in labor just as the Doc is deciding to put my Sis-in-law on a  Pitocin drip (this drug starts labor). I suppose it is around 9am when I call to find out how everyone is and to tell them that I'm in labor too.

My mom is overly excited and doesn't know which room to go to. My Sis has her hubby and my Sis-in-law has my brother....my mom doesn't know who needs or wants her more........My Sis-in-law wins since she is so young and scared and in pain from the drip.


My mom gets a call from the Doc saying Sis is almost ready to deliver and my mom runs to that area of delivery. My Sis delivers a baby girl at 12 noon , or there abouts......7lbs6oz

July 1990

My Sis-in-law continues to stuggle and they think they may have to do a C-section. Finally their baby boy is born at around 6 pm......7lbs6oz

I'm hugging the wall and cussing who ever happens to be near me when I hear that my Sis-in-law has given birth.....I really could care less at this point.

My baby boy was born at 7pm......8lbs10oz......


Mom listed all the births in her local paper. She was somewhat of a celebrity after that......
Everyone thought SHE was special.........

Here are all the children in todays time

My Sis's daughter will graduate from NCSU with a degree in Agriculture in December. I'm not sure what her plans are but I know she loves animals. She has her last 4H show at the State Fair this weekend.








My brother's boy is in the United States Air Force, Somewhere USA. He works in Security.
I hope the war gets over soon. We all hope he doesn't  get sent into the war.











My son Bob is a student at FSU majoring in Music Composition. He plays the classical guitar, piano, and sax. He doesn't want to preform and he doesn't want to teach...........


  Hopefully, he won't become a career student. 

                           By the way.....I was born on my mom's Birthday. It must run in the family! 

Remembering birthdays in our family is easy!!

The Art of Master Bates

Reasons for purchasing Showtime

Weeds

Dexter

This is one of my favorite Clips. After having clogged pipes from tube socks, Uncle Andy is asked to give Shane a lesson in the fine art of  masturbation. The next episode......Mom wonder why Shane is 'eating' so many bananas...........this show is worth every dime you'd have to pay to see it. Netflix has all 5 seasons on Instant Play.

Thankful Tuesday's Pony

I really hate going to the lab that is covered by our insurance. There is no way of knowing if Nurse Ratchet will be there or not.

put some glasses on this "nurse" and it's her

 This woman will not listen to a thing I say. I've only been getting my blood drawn for what?? the last 40 years??   I try to tell her which vein is the best and I can actually feel it myself. What does she do? She goes so far as to say "Oooo, this arm has a good vein." (which happens to be the opposite arm that I've told her to use. She never gets blood the first time around). "Ooooo" she says "that vein rolled on me." or


"Oooo, that little bugger just collapsed!"  
Well I guess so you idiot.........you just reamed around in my vein enough to puncture it.........geesh.  Don't you just hate that reaming motion? For God's sake just take the fucking needle out of my arm and start over.....geesh.  I mean she gets ZERO blood......ZERO ...not even a drip when she withdraws the needle.

One time she even said I needed a butterfly needle (the ones used to start IV's) because my veins were so small. I'm sure my veins see her coming and like a frightened penis shrink to an almost invisible size.

The most I will let any one try to get blood is 3 times then I ask for some one else.I've asked for someone else 2 times now.......and guess what? They get my blood on the first stick. Imagine that?




So my five things that I'm thankful for this week are:



1. She got the right vein on the 2nd stick. She actually missed it totally the first time, then told me to relax my arm and stop stiff arming it . She actually says that I'm trying to help her and that I need to stop.......hell if I were helping her I'd grab the needle out of her hand and draw my own damn blood. oops sorry this is My Thankful Day............

2. My CRP is back to normal which means that I should be out of pain. I'm not really but someone told me that when you get addicted to pain medication your body tells you you're still in pain? I'll have to check on that with the Doc.  I'm thankful that the meds are working.

3. Hubby out of town this week. I'm VERY thankful for that. We need a break from each other. You know too much togetherness is never good for a marriage.

 4. Thankful for the weekend and 3 hour naps. Damn I must be getting old. But I'm still thankful that I can take that nap.

5. Sunsets in my back yard.

While the Engineer's Away

Lucy gets to play!!

The Unknown Musican contributes

I don't think the boy will mind that I 'steal' a bit of his creativity. The title as far as I can find is Latin and means

My Sigh (update....my son says it means my heart beat......or what keeps me alive)

Suspirius Meus

                                                                              Love

is the feeling, knowing

She loves when I hold her

is the feeling, knowing

She will never leave me

is the feeling, knowing

She loves me too

unconditionally

She loves

when my fingers move fast

when my fingers move slow

when my fingers caress her neck

She never

gets jealous,

talks too much,

or gets lonely.

if only my Guitar could make me dinner too.

My Peculiar Adulation

I know some people may find this odd but I DO have a strange and strong admiration for nipples. It doesn't matter whose body they are on; if they are stiff............

I want them. Or do I?

When I say I want something it usually means that I'd like to have whatever it is that I'm wanting. Isn't that the way with most people? Well, when I say I want a stiff nipple.....I don't want to own it......I don't want to do much more to them than gawk and drool.


Why do nipples make me drool?

I don't know....drooling may not be the right word either. I don't have that large of a vocabulary but I do try to find the right words to describe what I want to say. I do feel a bit of salivation coming to the front of my mouth but it's more than that. I want to take my teeth??....and just gently??? no...

  I feel my teeth start to chatter?

Well, chatter is definitely not the right word here. When I think of chatter I think of cold and although it might be coldness that makes the nipple harden, that is not the performance my teeth are doing. They are gently tapping together but should I get that little nipple in between them I might have to hold back the feeling of a full fledged bite. Probably gnash is a better word but I think that is stronger than what I might feel.








Then the verb-age starts............

WOOOOO look at those nipples!!! (said a bit quieter) woooooo!!! In a minute they are going to slice (I say with teeth clenched) right through that shirt!!!! Oh My God those are really fat nipples!!! I could just bite them off!!!! OOOOOO look at my teeth, I can't keep them still!!!!! LOOOOOKKKKK they must be 4 inches long!!!! OOOOO MY GAWD!!! I can't stop looking squirming in my seat!!!!!


then i smoke a cigarette........just kidding!

I don't fear that I have lesbian tendencies but most of my women friends become a little concerned when I start with the verb-age. I explain to them that the Kinsey Reports are always being misquoted and that men have nipples too......



I've never been told my high beams are on and my turkeys are NEVER done. I don't have to contemplate putting scotch tape over mine and I've never had to be careful of wearing a thin bra or shirt.

I know I can buy some but don't these look a bit wall eyed (having large, staring eyes, as some fishes)?

Tuesday's Pony

Don't Worry happens to be one  of my favorite songs and at times my favorite mantra.

My gratefulness is as follows:

1. Celebrating 28 years of  marriage to the Engineer. My first husband was and still is a lazy, controlling, bastard of a male chauvinist pig. That wasn't too harsh was it? We married at an early age and although, it was a tumultuous marriage, I have to say it was never boring.  When I was in search of my next love, I looked for someone totally opposite.....hard working, loyal, laid back, with a sense that women shared life side by side with men. Though all has not been bliss and The Engineer can be a bit arrogant at times ( I like Italians what can I say?), I can't think of anyone else that I might like to share my life with right now. So........I'll keep him for a while!

2. Travel points that get you free stays at the Holiday Inn.........we spent the weekend in Sanibel Island (click on the Holiday Inn for a live camera) for our anniversary. It was beautiful there.
We did a lot of bicycling. The bike paths led everywhere. We went from on tip of the Island to other.





 3. The Sno Hut in our town. Shaved ice with flavors of almost anything you can think of. My favorite is Black Cherry stuffed with ice cream .....YUMMY!!

 4. A/C is on the fritz........REALLY happy for the cooler temps and low humidity right now!

5. Halloween is just around the corner. My favorite holiday. This is what I dressed up like a couple of  years ago. Cave Momma......and no I do not have black hair. The Engineer was out of town that year and he didn't even recognize me!!

 Every little thing is gonna be alright!!