TD (in a sing song-y voice): Time to get ready for school!
Baby (sounding fretful and whining just a bit): Those pants don't fit me.
TD (her voice still smiling): Yes they do, you just wore them last week!
Baby (whinier): NOOO! I'm growing. They are too small now.
TD (sounding a bit edgy and impatient): Come on now Baby, we have to get ready for school.
Baby (whinier still and getting louder): NO
O
O
O
I can't wear them. I'm bigger now.
TD (whiny voice): Ba-be
e
e
come on, they do fit. Stop fighting me
e
e
e.....
All the while I have my back turned. I'm trying not to get in to the mix
Baby starts to scream. I take a peek and her pants are on. TD is struggling to put on Baby's sandals. It's okay, we live in Florida. It's still in the mid 80's here!
Baby (screaming): NOOOOO!!! MY FEET ARE COLD!!!!! NOOOOOO!!! I DO NOT WANT TO WEAR THEM!!!
TD (stern voice): Now look Baby, your feet are NOT cold and you have to put them on so we can go to school.
I'm guessing the fight is over when I hear:
TD ( very calmly): Why don't you do me a favor and go to your room for 5 mintues.
Baby (screams even louder): NOOOOO!! GRANDMA!! NOOOO!! GRAND-MA
A
A
A!!
I guess she's hoping I'll save her?
In between Baby's screams TD is screaming back
GO IN YOUR ROOM!!!GO IN YOUR ROOM NOW!!!
I can't stand it any more so I say between clenched teeth....."TD!!Pick Baby up and put her in her room if you want her in time out.
TD does just that. Baby is screaming for my sympathy all the way there.
While Baby is in her room, Triple D and I have a conversation. It goes something like this....
Me: This is why I don't want to be a mom anymore. I can't fight the fight anymore. I don't want to fight the fight........been there done that .............I would have gotten her a different out fit and been done with it.
TD: I will not allow Baby to walk all over me. I will not go back and forth to get outfits just to see if this one or that one pleases her.
Me agreeing whole heartily: No you shouldn't let Baby get her way all the time. Why the huge argument over what pants she wears? Is it about the pants and what Baby wanted to wear or is it about you being the mom?
TD : It's not because I said so, It's because Baby wants to fight about it . These days Baby wants to fight me about everything. It really has nothing to do with the pants.
Me: Try not to make life with a 3 year old a power struggle. Make sure you choose your battles. Sometimes its better to let things slide in the name of peace.
TD: I WILL pick my battles but I WILL NOT allow a 3 year old to tell me what is best for her.
Me: That's ok. I'm glad you are able to fight the fight. This is why I need you to be the mom. I don't have the energy to fight these morning battles.
what I don't say is this......TD has to do this her way. I've done my fair share of raising children! I WILL NOT interfere. I WILL let her figure it out. Baby is HER child not mine. There is no manual on how to raise the perfect child. As long as TD is doing what she does with love and reason...what can I say? It's actually kind of GREAT to just be a grandma! whoo hoo!!
After 5 minutes Triple D walks in to Baby's room and this is the conversation I hear........
TD (in her sing song-y voice): Baby, the size clothes you wear are 3T. The pants you have on are 3T. They're the right size for you. I know you're growing but right now these pants fit.
Baby (sniffling and a bit whiny): Mommy, they are too tight. See?
TD (still sing song-y): No Baby, your pants fit just right. Look, I'll show you. You see mommy's pants? See how these shorts smooch my tummy? See how they are too tight here? Mommy's pants are too small for her. Mommy needs to get some bigger pants. Mommy's pants don't fit. See??
Baby (smiling voice): Oh, yes! Mommy, you need bigger pants. My pants are not too little. Mommy are you growing?
TD (audible sigh): No Baby, Mommy's not growing anymore.
Baby(in her little munchkin voice): Well mommy, you need bigger pants.
TD (sighing): Yes I know, Baby, but we won't tell anyone. OK??
Smiling at this conversation, I think how nice she handled this in the end.......without my help!
Imagine that?
Your daughter, Triple D, showed good strategy in her argument at the end. The back and forth dialogue between you and them was funny and all too real of how parents and their kids talk to each other. Your decision to kinda back out of it and let her deal with it was good strategy, too.
ReplyDeleteTake care
How exhausting. Being a good mother means performing minor acts of heroism every day.
ReplyDeleteSchool uniforms solved that one for us.
ReplyDeleteBut when we were going out, my mother let us choose what we wanted to wear.
You're right about choosing the battles.
Then there was The Look. One Look, and we behaved.
I figure my kids somehow grew up in spite of us....so I figure their kids will do the same. Sometimes I do have to bite my lip a bit though.
ReplyDeleteI think that I would give my three year old the longest Time Out in her life if she said to me, "Mommy is growing." Or at least until she said, "Mommy is so skinny!"
ReplyDeleteI'm kidding. Parenting seems really challenging. But, I do love how she handled it in the end.
Hey MarytrMom, I just gave you an award on my blog. Go check it out!
ReplyDeleteAlmost forgot... Take the award, put it on your site and award five other bloggers who you think are worthy of it. No pressure if you don't want to do any of that but those are "the rules". Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteOr if you just wanna throw poop at me, you can do that, too. :)