My Never Ending Story

The Engineer is out of town, once again. He was gone for 2 weeks and home for the Thanksgiving Holidays.

When he comes home, he can't figure out why no one is relying on him to take care of things.

The household runs with or without him. It is a finely tuned ship.

The laundry gets done. The trash gets down to the road. The dishes get in the dishwasher. The house gets locked up at night. Pick up and drop offs are all arranged before hand. Times are coordinated with synchronized watches.

This weeks calendar in short form:

-School for the Grand girls starting at 7:30 a.m. each morning and finishing up at 5 p.m in the evening.
-The older grand girls sit down to do homework at 8:00 p.m. sharp.
-Tennis for me Monday morning at 8 a.m. and 7 p.m.
-Doctors at 9 a.m. for Princess in Training on Tuesday
-Tennis for me at 7 p.m.
-Wednesday Doctor of Triple D at 9 a.m. and Lemon Lady at 3 p.m.
-Work for me on Wednesday somewhere in between doctors' appointments.
-Probation for Triple D on Wednesday in the afternoon.
-Thursday Tennis for me at 8 a.m.
-Friday meal planning then shopping for it all. Bills are paid this day too.
-Saturday is the fun day.......house keeping has been put off for more days than not. Laundry, cleaning, yard work (if The Engineer is home...I don't do yard work)
-Sunday is Tennis for the Engineer and I at 9 a.m.
-Football is watched with great gusto!

Somewhere in between all these activities, I find the time to delegate chores for a nominal fee (allowance),cook, love, and get on the computer to whine about it all. Secretly my life is full! I HATE empty nests.

This is my purpose in life. I am happiest when my plate is OVER full. I leave no scraps.

Am I bragging that I can do this all again? Maybe just a bit...

Am I wanting someone to look at me and say WOW!! Probably......

Isn't this what being co-dependent is all about?? ME???

I may not be the best at raising kids but I'm getting my fair share of chances to get it right!

Touch

Beksinski

One touch is all it took

To take me back in time.

The time when our bodies were

Young,

Strong,

Impassioned,

Insatiable .

Memories of Thanksgiving Past

pi
I don't remember any Holiday dinners at anyone's house except ours. I'm sure there were but none were as memorable.

My mom was never a very good cook. When she cooked any meat it had to be well done. Not the well done that falls off the bone but the well done that is so dry you needed some sort of gravy, applesauce, or mashed potatoes to dip it in so you could get it down your throat. The vegetables were what fell apart. There was no texture to them. They were  mostly mush usually filled with bacon grease. I had always wished my dad would do all the cooking. He did the breakfast meals but never dinner unless it was on the grill.

UH...before I get too distracted ........this is what I remember of our "traditional" Thanksgiving dinner.

Our dining room table seemed to me to fit the whole world around it. I guess in a sense this was my whole world. My granddad was always at the head of the table. Even when my other grandparents were there, they deferred to him. Grandma sat to his left and my Aunt Addie (my mom's sister) sat to his right. The rest of the seating, as far as I remember, was random. I don't remember ever sitting at the "kids table". They got stuck in the kitchen far away from all the excitement.

Pistachio salad....looks like puke to me

The dinner consisted of : Turkey dry as dirt, dressing, pistachio salad (which we all hated), Chocolate Pie (because dad demanded it), Lemon Pie (because mom couldn't live without it), the rest were just random vegetables. Our table was boisterous and loud. My granddad slopping his food in his mouth like a hog dying of starvation. My grandmother's continuous hisses of "Richard! Stop!". My mother's incessant jabbering of who has pissed her off and who is going to send the cheapest Christmas presents this year and the constant yelling from dining room to kitchen at the kids to "stop playing and finish eating."

  unusual? I found an article the crying chair.

The most vivid memory that I have, though, is of  my Aunt Addie. She sat in what we have forever labeled "the crying chair." None of us could ever figure out what would set her off, we just knew it was always going to happen. It would start with a sniffle and a tear, soon becoming racking sobs with her embarrassed giggles in between.

It became a great fascination of mine. I would try to figure out when and why it would happen. I never could. I was also terrified of that chair. In my  family you could be pissed, loud, and/or obnoxious but crying was not allowed. Today, I realize that Aunt Addie was the emotional one in the family.

myself with my extended family

When I met The Engineer, I found a very different way of celebrating a Holiday.  Smiles, conversation and good cheer! There was no yelling, cursing, or cut downs. There was no crying, dry turkey, or pistachio salad.

Gigi (the Engineer's mom) would create ambrosia. To have lasagna or a rib roast for dinner was the norm in this Italian family. The vegetables were crisp and seasoned with herbs and a bit of butter. There were no turkeys. There was no kids table. If the whole family was in town, we would head over  to the beach cottage, food packed in cars, where a table could accommodate the 4 siblings, their wives and all the kids.

The family sat around the table each year and reminisced about Holiday's past. There was always some story about The Engineer or one of his brothers There was plenty of wine and after dinner drinks to go round but there were no crazy drunks. (Drinking wasn't allowed at our home because of the obnoxious drunks in our family).

Today, our traditional dinner is a blend of both our families,I suppose. We sometimes have the destroyers (crazy obnoxious 'substant abusers') and we sometimes have the reminiscing family stories. We have the yelling and the smiles. We have the traditionally dry turkey and the Italian Lasagna. I strive for ambrosia but sometimes don't succeed. No one complains too much...........

We left behind the kids table, the pistachio salad and most importantly "the crying chair."

Happy Birthday To Me!!

My Mom

This is going to be a bitch session tribute to my mom. Her birthday is coming soon. Actually her birthday is coming on the same day as mine.

I talk to my mom at least once a week. She lives in North Carolina  with dad. My sis lives "in town" and my brother lives a few hours away. I'm always amazed when they bitch about how mom bothers them. I'm always the first to tell them they should be thankful that she is so close. I remind them that they can have holidays and visits anytime they choose.

So anyway......Mom is a smart ass and doesn't even realize it. She doesn't think before commenting on most anything.

I'd like to blame it on her almost being 72 but she's acted like this all her life. My sister once asked if I thought she acted this way because of   the tumor they removed from her brain.....she was blank for a long time. My dad actually asked for her doctor to continue the anti-seizure meds. because it made her so mellow.

My mom claims to be a Christian. The years growing up at home made me loath the faith. If I asked a question about religion, I'd be called a heathen. I remember once asking why we were not allowed to marry a black person.....She proceeds with....if god had meant for us to cohabitate he would not have destroyed the work on the Tower of Babel. My granddad was Jewish (by faith when he was young.)  My dad's dad claimed to be a Spaniard and my dad's mom was Cherokee (how much more can a couple look dark without being??) Go figure...god changed their color too? I guess I am a Heathen?? Whatever......

 Mostly anything you don't agree with makes you suspect in mom's eyes. She will argue anyone down on any subject. An example........my sis has medium length hair. Mom says "oh you've never had your hair that short before". My sis has always kept her hair in the Dorothy Hamil style. She has just recently started to grow it out. My mom argued for 20 minutes with my sis on the subject of her hair length. I don't know why sis continued to argue.This is the BIG difference in myself and my siblings. I don't argue with her. I usually say, "WHAT. EVER. MOM."  and change the subject.


When my aunt died she told her brother "well, if she'd taken better care of herself, this would have never happened."

The on going thing she does is to play my bro and sis against each other. She will tell my brother that my sister said something about him and then she will tell my sister what he said in answer to that.There have been times when they would have nothing to do with each other...and it was all because of  dear ole mom. I don't know if she gets pleasure in this sort of thing or if she truly has no idea that she is causing hell and havoc.

My dad doesn't say much. He sleeps a lot. He works a lot. He tries to stay out of her way for the most part. My baggage was not only anger at mom but at dad too. He didn't argue, he didn't stand up for himself or his kids. He kept his mouth shut for the sake of peace.

I could go on and on since I've dealt with her for almost 54 years.....but I won't. I'll get down to the reason for my rant.

I was talking to her the other night. I asked if she had heard from my niece, my brother's child. She said she had talked to my brother and he asked her not to say anything negative to his kid (she is pregnant). She said, "oh why would I ever do that?" Then she told me what she said to my niece...... " I can only hope that you will be a better parent than someone else that I know." I kind of freaked out for a moment. No one has ever been good enough for my brother according to mom. I am NOT believing she had just cut my niece's mom down to her face.

I say, "mom that was negative."
She says, "why??"
I say, "you just cut her mom down."
She says, "no I didn't."

I say, "what???"

She says, "I was talking about Triple D."

OH!MY! FUCKING! GOD!

 I'm pissed. I tell my mom that she is not a very nice person and that I hope she has not relayed Triple D's problems to my niece. She says she told my niece who she was talking about.  I tell my mom that she has no clue what kind of mom Triple D is. Then she drops the kicker.

"Well I do know how Triple D is because you always tell me."  

She's got me there, I guess. That will teach me to vent to my mom. I should have remembered that she uses your weaknesses against you. 

My vow:

to never tell her anything but positive things about Triple D and to be more understanding when my siblings get pissed.

 

So Happy Fucking Birthday Mom!!

Turkey Tournament 2010

We played 76 games all in one day. We lost in the finals of the 4th Flight. We lost all but one match and that is how we got into the finals.

We started playing at 8:30 that morning and finished at 5:00 that evening. It was a long day and I loved every minute of it.

The tournament always has a lot of really good players in it. Even in my younger years, I've only ever won in the 3rd Flight. Once or twice we were in the 2nd Flight but got knocked out. So I think after not playing tennis for so long, we were lucky to have been in the last Flight Finals.

There is usually a good amount of food being served to keep our strength up and for those that can play and drink........there is BEER!!

 The Engineer was wondering what I had gotten him into. He was only home for the weekend. Not only did we play Saturday but I had scheduled a match for Sunday too.

I'm sure he was happy to go back to DC so he could take a rest!







 
Me taking a break. You see I'm only drinking water!
Afterward there is always a beer or two consumed to celebrate the end of a glorious tennis day!

The Finalist of the 4th Flight. That's me, the Engineer and our opponents who kicked our asses.












The Champions of the Tournament won the Turkeys.
They finished just after 6 pm.

10 Reasons For Not Posting This Week

10. Too many females on the rag at my house. (I now have custody of  Lemon Lady and PIT ,
       15&12  respectively. Funny how the cycle of menstruation works.)

9. Too many doctors appointments. The girls had to go in. LL had a possible hand fracture and
    PIT needed a physical.

8. Depression? Results of Doctor's appointments..... LL has to go to the Orthopedic.    
     PIT is on Birth Control???

7. Too much tennis scheduled. I will have played more than 6 times after today.

6. Too many trips to the grocery for Chocolate Cherry Ice Cream.

5. Cooking for 7 again is time consuming.

4. Too much time wasted in helping PIT find her "lost" homework assignments.

3. More time spent supervising the make up of said homework.

2. Too much time fretting over Triple D cause I can't find 25 dollars that I just took out of the
    bank. (Maybe it was PIT?)


Top reason for not posting................ 

1. No computer time with 2 teenagers in the house.

Hopefully I'll be back this coming week! I'm OK....just settling in with everyone. 

My Granddad

Funny how someone else can post something and that will bring a memory to mind.
Kelly did just this with his hilarious story on what happens when you eat a few burritos! His farts reminded me of my Granddad. He's been gone for over a decade but every now and then, someone says something or talks about something that brings his face so clearly back to me.

He wasn't a handsome man. He was grossly overweight (6'4" 320lbs) and had a booming, gravely voice caused from too many cigarettes. He had a great sense of humor and warm brown eyes that danced with merriment on more than a few occasions.

His favorite saying was "pull my finger". It didn't matter who was at the house, he would rip the biggest, loudest fart that anyone could imagine. When the Engineer and I first met, this was one of  my granddad's greeting. He didn't care.

He'd scare the great grands with his false teeth and tickle them until they were so wound up that my grandmother would scream "RICHARD!! STOP!!" Did he stop? Oh hell no...he'd just keep on until they got bored or their mothers would round them up and away from him.

He'd tell  ghost stories, then take us to the grave yard behind the house to check it out. He'd take all the neighborhood kids. Didn't matter who they belonged to, if they wanted to go with us, they went. He'd let out a yelp, every single time we went, that would have us kids all running like the wind back to the house......scared shitless!

 He worked hard and owned his own construction business. He was prejudice and didn't mind saying what was on his mind. Most of his workers were black and Granddad being from the deep south  called them what I never will.

  I'm sure it was the times that kept his workers from revolting. I do know that he helped his workers. He was generous. He'd give the shirt off his back saying that it would all come back to him 2 fold. When he died, they came around and told stories. One gentleman told us, with tears in his eyes, what Granddad had done for him and his family. Evidently, Granddad had purchased his house when he was about to lose it and personally financed it for him. In his will he gave the house to the gentleman - free and clear.

He loved to tell stories. One of his favorites was about when he was on the police force. It goes something like this.....

He was on duty and the sign outside a restaurant said it was serving his favorite soup. When he entered there was a partition separating the booths from the waitresses in the back. A waitress greeted him by hollering over to him...."Hello, I'll be right there."  He hollered back  "I just want soup and coffee." She came around the partition and to Granddad's surprise, so he said, she was topless. As she bent down to place the soup and coffee on the table, one titty slid into the soup the other into his coffee.  He gives this great big grin...so pleased with the story that he has just told a impressionable teenage girl.

 Sometimes you could only stare, opened mouth in disbelief and I hear Grandma screaming...."RICHARD!! STOP!!"

He liked loved titties. Yes, folks, he was a titty man! There was no doubt about his love for them. I don't know how many times my grandmother would walk by and we'd catch him tweaking her a bit. Sometimes we wouldn't see but hear the slap she always gave him each time he tweaked.
It was no wonder she was a 36 extra long!

He use to tell us stories of his mother having a papoose and he'd ride in the back and how she'd throw her titty over her shoulder so he could have a  drink. There was always some talk about one being vanilla and one being chocolate. I never questioned this impossibility...I just stared at Mammy in awe.

When I had my young boys and they became aware......he'd tell them about the next door neighbor. She was a big busted woman, an elderly woman.....He'd make his brown eyes as big as possible and say,  "Now you'd better watch out for Mrs. Palmer. She loves to hug little boys and she'll put you between her titties. Just be careful, you might get stuck in there." and then he'd grab them before they took off out the door and whisper, "one is chocolate and the other is vanilla."

We'd go over to visit and Mrs. Palmer could never figure out (until much later when I told her what Granddad had done) why the boys were a little shy with her. They were very careful not to get too close!!

The best of Granddad's titty sayings is the one I can never forget..........

"A lady is a woman who can take her left titty and throw it over her right shoulder and squirt buttermilk down the crack of her ass"

I'm ever so thankful I'll NEVER be a lady!

Lucy and the LOL Award............

 So Kelly sends me this message that he has given me an award. I go check out his site and sure enough, there I am!! Winner of the LOL Award!! He then goes on to say that I have to post 5 of my own to receive this award and to read the ones he has posted as winners.

I did and this is how it went............

Went to visit  Gotta Be P.C. A Little Easter Cheer just about killed me with laughter. I'm begging him to post more!

Went back to Kelly's site and looked up It's a Lollipop she  had already posted her award. I'm pretty sure she didn't do like Kelly said  unless she is a fast reader or something??( I guess not everyone has the same problems I do?) She had her list already up and of course I had to check out a few of them.

My first stop was Yeah Good Times and then
Not Worth Mentioning  He must be famous or something since he has so many followers? But you gotta read his Sheep story. If I were that creative.........AWWW Lawdy!! I'd be famous too!!

Copyboy from Not Worth Mentioning had not posted his award but that didn't stop me from taking a look at the blogs he follows. Since he was so funny I figured he'd probably follow a few that were funny too. There were several worth reading but before I forget and get lost again I need to say my thanks and get on with the show.................

Days later......................

The Award to Laugh Out Loud

Oh Kelly! I am so proud!!

An Award that shows I give someone pleasure,                         

And I didn't even have to take my clothes off!!

Hey!! No one ever said I was a poet!
Thanks Kelly (he actually makes me LOL and I wish I could give the award back to him but I don't think that's allowed)

As the rule goes I have to pass this on to 5 who make me LOL. They should do the same. I know it sounds like a chain letter. Right?...blech....... but I did this so that others might enjoy the pleasure that I've gotten out of reading their blogs! Do with it what you will!

and the winners are............

1. Missed Periods  she teaches grammar to the kids at school and to me too. She turns grammar into something that makes me LOL and Oooo and Ahhh  all at the same time. (Can someone tell me why they put old farts in to teach English??? I'm saving that for another post.) I wish she had been my teacher. I wouldn't have to use............when I didn't know what else to put. PS she IS NOT an old fart by any means!

2.Guyana Gyal  she is so blessed with wit! I love the way she tells a story and you can  hear her voice speak in her writing. The reason she gets this prestigious LOL Award is because she likes to tease  with her words. Check it out.

3. Fish Finger Butty I don't know why the name but she is a pretty funny gal. A psych nurse has got to have a bit of humor to make it through the day! Maybe this LOL Award will be put on her list of Acknowledgments when she finishes that comedy for BBC!

4. Robert the Skeptic makes me LOL every time I read a post. He takes something that is serious and can turn it into a hilarious story.

5. J for is Guilt Squared She says she is Brit-ish  because she has traveled so much. She now writes from Istanbul. I haven't read many of her posts yet but each time I do I find something that makes me LOL. Now I've got to go find out who E is???

The United States Air Force Thunderbirds

This is why I love my Engineer so...

He made this video from clips that he took while watching the USAF Thunderbirds.

Putting this video to the song "Can't You Hear Me Knocking" by the Rolling Stones

made it even better!

Enjoy!!

My Pants are Too Tight

Triple D has gotten her license back and as she continues to take back over her role as a parent, here is what transpires this morning:

TD (in a sing song-y voice): Time to get ready for school!

Baby (sounding fretful and whining just a bit): Those pants don't fit me.

TD (her voice still smiling): Yes they do, you just wore them last week!

Baby (whinier): NOOO!  I'm growing. They are too small now.

TD (sounding a bit edgy and impatient): Come on now Baby, we have to get ready for school.

Baby (whinier still and getting louder): NO
                                                                           O
                                                                               O
                                                                                     O
                                                                                        I can't wear them. I'm bigger now.

TD (whiny voice): Ba-be
                                           e
                                               e
                                                 come on, they do fit. Stop fighting me
                                                                                                              e
                                                                                                                    e
                                                                                                                          e.....

All the while I have my back turned. I'm trying not to get in to the mix
Baby starts to scream. I take a peek and her pants are on. TD is struggling to put on Baby's sandals. It's okay, we live in Florida. It's still in the mid 80's here!

Baby (screaming): NOOOOO!!! MY FEET ARE COLD!!!!! NOOOOOO!!! I DO NOT WANT TO WEAR THEM!!!

TD (stern voice): Now look Baby, your feet are NOT cold and you have to put them on so we can go to school.

I'm guessing the fight is over when I hear:

TD ( very calmly): Why don't you do me a favor and go to your room for 5 mintues.

Baby (screams even louder): NOOOOO!! GRANDMA!! NOOOO!! GRAND-MA
                                                                                                                                       A
                                                                                                                                            A
                                                                                                                                                 A!! 
                                                         I guess she's hoping I'll save her?

In between Baby's screams TD is screaming back
GO IN YOUR ROOM!!!GO IN YOUR ROOM NOW!!!

I can't stand it any more so I say between clenched teeth....."TD!!Pick Baby up and put her in her room if you want her in time out.

TD does just that. Baby is screaming for my sympathy all the way there.

While Baby is in her room, Triple D and I have a conversation. It goes something like this....

Me: This is why I don't want to be a mom anymore. I can't fight the fight anymore. I don't want to fight the fight........been there done that .............I would have gotten her a different out fit and been done with it.

TD: I will not allow Baby to walk all over me. I will not go back and forth to get outfits just to see if this one or that one pleases her.

Me agreeing whole heartily: No you shouldn't let Baby get her way all the time. Why the huge argument over what pants she wears? Is it about the pants and what Baby wanted to wear or is it about you being the mom?

TD :  It's not because I said so, It's because Baby wants to fight about it . These days Baby wants to fight me about everything. It really has nothing to do with the pants.

Me: Try not to make life with a 3 year old a power struggle. Make sure you choose your battles. Sometimes its better to let things slide in the name of peace.

TD: I WILL pick my battles but I WILL NOT allow a 3 year old to tell me what is best for her.

Me:  That's ok. I'm glad you are able to fight the fight. This is why I need you to be the mom. I don't have the energy to fight these morning battles.

what I don't say is this......TD has to do this her way. I've done my fair share of  raising children! I WILL NOT interfere.  I WILL let her figure it out. Baby is HER child not mine. There is no manual on how to raise the perfect child. As long as TD is doing what she does with love and reason...what can I say?  It's actually kind of GREAT to just be a grandma! whoo hoo!!

After 5 minutes Triple D walks in to Baby's room and this is the conversation I hear........

TD (in her sing song-y voice): Baby, the size clothes you wear are 3T. The pants you have on are 3T. They're the right size for you. I know you're growing but right now these pants fit.

Baby (sniffling and a bit whiny): Mommy, they are too tight. See?

TD (still sing song-y): No Baby, your pants fit just right. Look, I'll show you. You see mommy's pants? See  how these shorts smooch my tummy? See how they are too tight here? Mommy's pants are too small for her. Mommy needs to get some bigger pants. Mommy's pants don't fit. See??

Baby (smiling voice): Oh, yes! Mommy, you need bigger pants. My pants are not too little. Mommy are you  growing?

TD (audible sigh): No Baby, Mommy's not growing anymore.

Baby(in her little munchkin voice): Well mommy, you need bigger pants.

TD (sighing): Yes I know, Baby, but we won't tell anyone. OK??

Smiling at this conversation, I think how nice she handled this in the end.......without my help!

Imagine that?

The Pony I Found This Tuesday

 

1. I'm thankful for my husband's green thumb. My roses are beautiful this time of year.

                        2. I'm thankful for my artistic abilities. I LOVE sidewalk chalk.                       

3. I'm very thankful for Sleeping Children

4. This is Mr. Osprey. He sits on our weather vein. He talks to me when I whistle at him.
I'm thankful for our abundance of wildlife.

5. I'm thankful for the joy that a 3 year old can find in a box.