Sunday Smiles

                                                 1.How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

Unique Up On It.
 
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?

Tame Way..
 
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?

They Take The Psychopath.
 
4. What do you call a Botanist that's been fired?

Deflowered.

5. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?

Polaroids.

 6. How do you make antifreeze? 

Steal her blanket.
 
7. What is Atheism ?

A non-prophet organization.

 
8. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?

Frostbite. 

 9. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?

A Nervous Wreck.
 
10. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?

Because It Scares their Dog.

***

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.                    If  you're feeling down and wondering why you might have been placed on this earth , remember.......YOU were the sperm who made it; there's gotta be a reason!!

NONNA

Anne died when she was 11 years old. She had leukemia. She was the last of the children the Engineer's mom would have. There were 4 boys and 1 girl. Anne was brilliant as Nonna is still known to say. She was wise beyond her years as I've always known dying children to be.

I've been with the Engineer for almost 32 years. We've been married for 28. His mother has always been a source of support, humor, and wisdom. She has been where my mom could never be.......there for me.

Some of her words of wisdom are as follows:

When the Criminal was sentenced to 5 years in a federal prison, he was 20. Triple D and the Unknown Musician were 8 and 5. I became depressed. I told the Doc that although I wouldn't kill myself,  I wouldn't move if someone came across the yellow line.  The Doc deemed me suicidal and gave me medications to help. When I called Nonna and told her what was going on she parted with these words of wisdom........."WHAT?? You want to die?? If that happens, the Engineer will  just marry some slut and she'll raise your kids??? Do you want that to happen??"

I don't think the meds would have worked any better......

Another time I remember is when the Engineer and I were having (well I guess I was just having) marital problems. I would call Nonna all the time. I couldn't talk to my mom. All I got from her was, "Why can't you be thankful? He works and supports you really good. What more do you want???" So I would vent to Nonna. Nonna's favorite saying for any problem I was having was "he learned from the Master" ( his dad). Grumpy Gramps could/can be arrogant in his knowledge of things and feels that there are many who know much less than he. This mostly means Nonna. He never believes that she might have some sort of ability to read and decipher what she's read. He will say stuff like, "where did you read that at? National Inquirer?"

Back in her younger days Nonna would have created quite a scene. Sometime she still does but, hey, at 84 she has mellowed a bit.

Anyway........

At one point my complaints were more along the lines of loneliness because the Engineer traveled so much. The kids were small and I couldn't go out to play tennis too much. I would call and whine about not having any adult companionship and when the Engineer was home.......well, what can I say, he is an Engineer.

Finally she says to me, "Lucy, what you have is a case of the housewife blues. Now there are many ways I can think of that can help you get over this. One way would be to go back to school. You could take a class or two in the mornings." I thought this over for a bit and I told her I thought that it was a really good idea. In the next breath she said slyly, "or you could just have an affair. It doesn't cost very much and  that would definitely get you over your blues!"

I had been near tears when the conversation started......after that........AWWW, LAWDY!!! There were tears but they were from laughing so hard. Later I told the Engineer what his mom had said. It didn't "straighten" him out...after all, he learned from the Master.

Over the years she has always been there to give me her advise and offer comfort. She loves my kids for who they are not who she thinks they should be. It's truly an unconditional love.

The Engineer didn't want me to call his mom and tell her about Triple D. He was afraid she would worry too much. He was gone this week and I called anyway. I had no one to talk to and I surely wasn't going there with my unsympathetic mother.

In between my sobs of sorrow she cooed and consoled and offered all she had. In the end she gave me this bit of wisdom that stopped my tears.

She said, "Lucy, there is always hope. Triple D, even the Criminal, may come around and eventually do something good. There is always hope of this. Do you know why Lucy? They are alive."

Standing: PIT, LL, Me. Seated: Triple D, Nonna, Baby

Nonna still has close relationships with her ex-daughter's in laws and I know if anything were to every happened to the Engineer and I, I would still have a friend in Nonna.

"O" is My Favorite Letter

 

You are an opiate;

so very obvious.

I am obsequious.
I am an obstacle.

We are obsessed.

This was prompted by Missed Periods post. There are more "O" words that I like. 

Orgasm cums to mind! ha! I made a joke!! 

Origami....Opal...Original......probably a lot more but you tell me.....

Samurai Warriors

Playing checkers in the park with the old guys, has never been as competitive as playing Mahjong in a field of lilies with the Samurai!

 

I did it!  I did it!! 137 characters!!! 

 Susan over at "Stony River"  hosts Microfiction Monday. The idea is to use Susan's picture she posts then compose a story up to and including characters, punctuation marks, etc adding up to 140.

The Saga Continues

No matter how bad things are, I still love Triple D. That's the strange thing about having a kid. You want to hate them but you just can't. Your heart breaks and you cry until you're dry but no matter how hard you try....you just can't hate them. Yes Robert, my grief is so heavy I feel I can hardly breath sometimes.

I tried to hate the Criminal. I spent many years kicking myself....questioning ..........I know it's not my fault my children have fallen into bad behaviors. I raised them to be better than this. We aren't "white trash." We don't live in "crime town." We are not in the low socioeconomic group. I'm not, nor is the Engineer.....an abusive parent, a drunk, a drug addict, or mentally ill. (well not that we know of anyway! sigh......my try at humor!) 
sorry Missed Periods...how in the hell do you punctuate a sentence like that??....and thanks for your support too! 

Why all this has happened I can't say.
 
In my previous post I mentioned that the police were unwilling to help and I'd find out if they were just lazy or what. In the state of Florida you have to evict a person from your home. If you tell that person to leave and they have lived in your home for a period of time (like a kid or a friend),  you have to evict them. The police can't search their room because everyone, even our grown children, are given a right to privacy. So Kelly, even though it's not as drawn out as a real tenant, you have to go through legal proceedings. Yeah the state of Florida has some strange laws. The cops aren't lazy.

So here we go with what went on......

Wednesday, January 12th, continued 

When I first get to the court house, I check out the law library and get an eviction notice to put on Triple D's door.
 I spent the better part of today in the court house getting the Marchman Act set up. I also request a restraining order in case the Marchman Act doesn't go through. As it goes, you have to have documentation stating your case. After I finished my blog , I spent a few hours writing a 2 pages summary of what has happened in the past year. 

I'm relieved that I have done something to help Triple D but distressed that the restraining order, if approved, may get her in jail. I'm confused over what I want to happen.

I want her to go back to detox. I don't want her to come home. I'm willing to set her up in a half way house for a month but she has to be clean in order to go there. I don't want her in jail........cause I hate that thought.

As it turns out, I may not have any choice. What happens next is just crazy......

A police officer who is the investigating officer on a robbery that Triple D "witnessed" on Sunday night wants to stop by and ask her a few question. I tell Detective Smith that she is not here. She starts asking me about the car that Triple D drives...."do you drive the car too or is it just her?"......"how often do you drive it?"......"would you say you and Triple D share the car?".... 

Triple D wrecked the car on Sunday night too but the story I got from that was she hit a parked car.  My first thought is SHIT....she was the get away person........NOOOOOOOOO


The cops come over for a third time in a row. Det. Smith is very pleasant and when I ask her questions about the car she just says she wants to look inside of it. She has to determine that I use the car too, otherwise, she has to get Triple D's permission to search it. 


We sit and talk for a while and as it is turning out.......Triple D may have helped set up this robbery. There was a girl who had her purse stolen from her home buy a guy who had a gun...........not looking good is it??


Anyway.......they search the car and take a few things. In the process of looking they find a spoon under the carpet in the trunk that clearly indicates Triple D's drug use. They can't use that against her because ... I could have put it in the car?!?! Ok well......um............whatever....... 


They tell me they have caught one person and they are looking for another one. I take that to mean that there are 2 robbers. 


After the cops leave, I call Triple D's boyfriend, Mighty Man-Man. He asks if Triple D would do such a thing.......sigh........


Drug addicts are like vampires......vultures.......they steal from those who "have" so they can get their supply replenished. When I ask the cops if drugs are involved the answer is "YES." The girl who was robbed was someone with a supply.....she also had a bit of money. I've known that this stuff happens amongst the drug crowd but they never call the cops. They just chalk it up to stupidity of not knowing who they are dealing with.......so this gal didn't care. Can you imagine?? "HELP!! I've been robbed!!! Someone just held a gun to my head and stole my purse and all my pills!!!" um........yeah..........whatever...... not that it makes it right but in my opinion they all get what they deserve.  This is why I had no problem allowing the cop to search the car.


Thursday, January 13th  

I wait for the most part of today for the judge to make his ruling. Finally the Marchman Act is approved as well as the restraining order. 

The Detective last night told me when Triple D came home she would question her and then set the Marchman Act in motion.

I go down to the court house to pick up the papers and just as I pull into the parking lot Triple D calls me from a pay phone. I tell her that she needs to call the Detective. I hang up and call the cop with the pay phone number that my phone showed. 

I find out that the person in custody is her "friend" who was also a "witness." She has been charged
with, home invasion with a deadly weapon and conspiracy to commit robbery...........geesh........... I'm a bit scared but if Triple D has had anything to do with this crime.....she needs to go to jail.

Friday, January 14th 

Mighty Man-Man calls first thing this morning and tells me he has talked to Triple D on facebook. He has told her she needs to come in and talk to the detective. 

Triple D calls me and I tell her her "friend" has been arrested. She is screaming at me that I've incriminated her. I tell her calmly that if she didn't have anything to do with the crime then she will be ok. She says she didn't .  I tell her that if she hadn't lied so much, I would  be able to believe her. I would  know that she didn't do anything.

I tell her that the cops think she is a part of it. I tell her that they've taken 'stuff' from the car that may prove that the robber was in her car. I tell her that if she knew this person was going to rob this girl that she will probably be in trouble too.  

Triple D tells me that she should probably have a lawyer. I tell her that she probably should. She asks who am I going to hire. I laugh.........she starts to cry and asks if that is why the Criminal is in jail. I laugh again and say the Criminal is in jail cause he committed a crime. I tell her to ask for a public defender. They have to have a lawyer present if she asks.

She says she will think about all this..............in the mean time Mighty Man-Man is calling and upset and wanting to go find her. 

Short story long? Mighty Man-Man finds her, brings her in, she gets arrested. 


Soooooooo
Gorilla Bananas 
I didn't need the Marchman Act after all.

GG and Monkey Man, 
Hopefully this IS the rock bottom. It can't get much lower.

Thanks Blondie for your wishes of strength.  I have a feeling. I'm gonna need it.

I hate that it's come to this but I guess it was bound to happen.


 

Triple D Adventure

Monday January 10
The snot nosed, punk cop with the bug-eyed glasses falls in love with the brown eyed sweet talking drug addict.


He talked to her first. She told her tale of woe. She said all she wanted to do was use the car to go pawn her culinary knife set. She spoke of the mother who accused her of drug use daily; of how her life was a piece of shit because her mother was always on her case. She swore she had no drugs and told him she thought that her mother had lost her mind. She even offered for the cop to look into her purse for the imaginary drugs her mother thought she had. I saw from a distance how he leaned towards her and looked in her purse and knew she had him "hooked" on her charms. Her demeanor was so calm; reserved; quiet spoken.

I yelled something to the effect "Tell him what you did," and he asked me if I needed assistance with a stern voice. I said no and he instantly walked over to me. In his bug glasses I could see my reflection. It was a face of a distraught woman, one who had been threatened; one who had been stolen from; one who was at her wits end trying to figure out how to get out of this hell. He asked me what the problem was. I began my tale of woe.

I told him she was using drugs and had been in and out of  rehab for a year now. He said, "sorry ma'am I didn't find any drugs on her." I told him she stole my credit card and had just come back from probation saying she had used. He said the probation officer had not violated her and I told him I already knew  because I had called him too. I told him she was trying to take the car. He said she could (even though her name is NO where on the title) because she has had use of the car in the past. I told him I wanted her out of the house. He told me file an eviction notice. I told him she had a small child. He said call the Department of Children and Families. I told him she threatened to hit me. He said she didn't. I said.........am I suppose to wait until she actually hits me or does some harm before you'll do anything?

This is when he turns ugly. He leaned towards me too but I can see the furrow above his bug eyes. He says "DON'T. YOU. BE. LITTLE. ME." I look at him like he's insane and all I can say is "huh?" He tears into to me then and tells me how he saw that I was rolling my eyes at him when he was talking to Triple D and how I looked at him with disdain each time he told me what the law said. I told him he was wrong and if I did roll my eyes it was out of frustration. I told him I would never belittle anyone (especially a cop, I'm not crazy...for real). That's when he said I should be more aware of how I look at people. I start to cry. (I REALLY hate when that happens).

He walks away from me without saying another word. He stops to talk to Triple D before he leaves. I suppose he told her not to take the car because she goes in the house.

Later, when dinner is almost ready, I hear a light pounding in her room. We sit down to dinner. When she comes to the table, I realize the pounding was probably her crushing a pill since she is glassy-eyed and smiling.

Tuesday January 11

I talk to Baby's dad and tell him he has to keep Baby until I get Triple D out of the house. The situation is too volatile and I really don't think any child should have to see what is going on.

It appears that she has called a detox center and is waiting for a bed so pretty much I wait too.

As the day progresses, she gets up and wonders around. I hear her calling people trying to find money. I go on the net to see if I can find the judge that has her case. I am thinking that if I call and plead, he may expedite a violation. I can't find it anywhere.

Evening is nearing and Triple D asks if I'm going to buy her cigarettes. I ask if she is kidding me. She says no and I tell her she has to earn a pack. I'm not buying a carton........no way Jose`.

She jerks the phone away from me and says she understands why The Criminal  destroyed the house. Of course that was my fault too because I'm such a "cunt bitch."

I hear her screaming at, I'm guessing , her dad. Probably asking him to buy her cigarettes. The Engineer buys NO cigarettes, anytime, anywhere. She throws the phone at me and storms into her room, slamming the door.

I hear a loud crash and grab the phone, fingers ready for 911. I yell Triple D's name and I continue to hear crashing sounds. I dial the number. 

She comes out of her room. I step back and she shoots me the bird as she walks out the front door.

I'm talking to dispatch and she is trying to get into the car. The Engineer  disabled the car the night before. I tell dispatch, "Oooo this is really gonna piss her off, I hope someone is gonna be here soon." She comes back into the house and trashes a few more things in her room. She tells me I'm next. She fake charges at me and I jump back. She laughs and leaves again. The whole while I'm on the phone with dispatch.

We live on a dead end surrounded by water so there is only one way off our street. I watch her go around the corner and am assured that the police are just on the next street and will probably pick her up and talk to her first.

The Engineer's car is the first car that comes down the road after this. Guess who's in the car? Yeap....Triple D. She gets out of the car and calls me a few names and leaves again. The Engineer looks clueless so I fill him in on what has happened.

Finally the cops get here. We go through the whole song and dance all over again but he is much nicer and can figure out all my eye rolling and sighing is from frustration.

I ask him if dogs can sniff out Oxy? He tells me "yes" and he has his dog in the car. I ask him to search her room and he says he can't do that. I say it's my house and he says it's her room. DAMN?!?! Nothing about this makes any sense what so ever. I tell the cop Triple D has told me she has a place to go until detox calls. (We've been through this before too. How can detox call her? she has no phone?? yeah right) I ask if this means we don't have to let her back into the house. He says "no" we have to let her in if she comes back. Ahhh, well, hell...........FML......

Wednesday January, 12

As I write this story, I'm hoping I don't see Triple D today at all. She usually will stay gone for a few days and come home all beat up from partying. I don't have any reason to believe that it will be different this time.

I found the name to the judge. I'm calling him this A.M. I'm headed to the court house at 9 to see about a Marchman Act being done. The cops are useless without an order. I don't know if it is the state of Florida or if the cops don't want to waste their time. Who knows.......I'm about to find out.

Planet Da-roo

He was an alien from Da-roo  

Who loved women in blue.

Killing with his crush      

They become mush

Then he adds them to his evening stew.

close but no cigar 143

 Susan over at "Stony River"  hosts Microfiction Monday. The idea is to use Susan's picture she posts then compose a story up to and including characters, punctuation marks, etc adding up to 140.

Cotton Fever

I swear to God, if I learn anymore about drug use....I might as well use.......

Ever heard of cotton fever?

Triple D has been at it again. This time it's shooting up. I've read shooting up Oxy, is like shooting up heroin. I found out about this right before Christmas. I start writing up contracts, taking away cell phones, hiding car keys, snooping at e-mail (which I have heard could possibly lead to prison), calling drug dealers and leaving warnings of possible arrest for them, and just plain acting like a chicken with my head cut off.

After trying to get her to leave and not having any proof that she had drugs, I'm told that I must present an eviction notice to get her off my property.

Her second counselor has quit and suggested she attend an out patient program instead Club Rehab. Time and time again, I've been told she needs to grow up. And time and time again, I tell myself  "yes, she does." I say it so often, I think, I'm beginning to believe it??

So we set up the appointment to go to BOAT. I hope no one I ever know needs these services but if you do... I'm the gal to ask! She takes off the night before, after promising she is ready to quit again. She returns home right after her scheduled appointment.......imagine that?

I tell her if she is not serious about quitting she will be leaving a lot sooner than the contracted time because I'm ready to make her life miserable. She is without a way to contact her dealers, but somehow they know what and when she needs to get a "fix."

She goes to the initial meeting at BOAT and is asked to come back the next night for a group meeting. She's been told that she is to have no unsupervised contact with Alexa and if I want I can call the Department of Children and Families. They are already involved because of the older grand girls.......so ........

Before the group meeting Triple D has started to act suspicious. We are in the car. I tell her I KNOW she is shooting up and if she can't get rid of her needles then I'm going to assume she is not serious about this and I'll call the cops and let them search the house. She says she doesn't have any paraphernalia  but as it turns out...after a few minutes, she takes her needle out from hiding and throws it out the car window. I keep driving but my sense of ??? I don't know why I turned around . I didn't want dirty needles laying around my neighborhood for some kid to find? I didn't want her going back and picking it up? I wanted to dispose of it properly??? I don't know but I did go back and get the needle and I cut it up and put it in my needle bin. (I have to take a shot, that's why I have a needle bin). She runs to her bed room crying.

A bit later I'm trying to get dinner ready, cause LL is coming back from her 2 week trip to LA, and I hear Triple D calling me in a frantic voice. I walk into her room and she is shaking so much I think she is about to have a seizure. I ask her if she's got something bad and should I call 911. She says she didn't take anything. I tell her I know she is not going through withdrawals that quickly, so I walk out of the room.

I hear her calling me again and I walk in and she is shaking and sweating and can hardly talk. I tell her I'm going to call 911 but she tells me she has done a cotton wash and she thinks she has cotton fever. Now, I'm thinking, I'll just run to the computer and look it up. I look up cotton wash and am unable to find anything on that. I walk back into the room and she says she is going to throw up but she can't get out of bed. I tell her I don't know what she has done but if the shaking doesn't stop, I'm calling the ambulance. (this is all taking place in the time it is taking you to read it....)

Here let me find a FUCKING vein for you!

She starts to scream at me that she has cotton fever and it's about a bacteria that cotton has in it and it gets into your body when you shoot up. So...........I go to the computer and look up cotton fever. It's not very serious but evidently it is common amongst those who shoot up. After reading the out come of what will happen. I feel like walking in her room and saying GOOD! GOOD! YOU IDIOT!!! I HOPE YOU STAY SICK FOR THE WHOLE 24 HOURS!! I restrained myself.

This is what happened in a nut shell. When you shoot up Oxy/Roxy or anything else, I guess, you have to filter the liquid through the cotton ball to get whatever "stuff" is in it , out. She thought she could take water and shoot it through the used cotton ball and possibly get a bit of the drug left and get a small high. Approximately 30 minutes after she shot up, the effects of cotton fever came on. Evidently there is some sort of bacteria that is in cotton that can cause the symptoms she had.

She has been clean now a week. I can only hope it continues.

FYI

Not quite Tax Day but I like that both parties are involved .....As tax time is nearing,  I probably won't be coming on my blog that often. I'm hoping to just keep up with the other blogs I watch.

Get your shoe boxes ready folks!!

Nothing but problems on the fore front for filing season this year.  To start things off right the IRS has announced that anyone using Schedule A, claiming education credits for students, or teachers claiming the $250 educator expense should wait until the end of February to file.This is due to the late changes in the forms.....

Quoted from the IRS

• Taxpayers claiming itemized deductions on Schedule A. Itemized deductions include mortgage interest, charitable deductions, medical and dental expenses as well as state and local taxes. In addition, itemized deductions include the state and local general sales tax deduction extended in the Tax Relief, Unemployment Insurance Reauthorization, and Job Creation Act of 2010 enacted Dec. 17, which primarily benefits people living in areas without state and local income taxes and is claimed on Schedule A, Line 5. Because of late Congressional action to enact tax law changes, anyone who itemizes and files a Schedule A will need to wait to file until mid- to late February.
  
  
• Taxpayers claiming the Higher Education Tuition and Fees Deduction. This deduction for parents and students — covering up to $4,000 of tuition and fees paid to a post-secondary institution — is claimed on Form 8917. However, the IRS emphasized that there will be no delays for millions of parents and students who claim other education credits, including the American Opportunity Tax Credit and Lifetime Learning Credit.
  
  
• Taxpayers claiming the Educator Expense Deduction. This deduction is for kindergarten through grade 12 educators with out-of-pocket classroom expenses of up to $250. The educator expense deduction is claimed on Form 1040, Line 23, and Form 1040A, Line 16.

A BIG problem for me is that my tax program didn't convert over all the information for last year's returns......like.... carry over losses and depreciation. GGGRRRRRRR The company that has the program hasn't updated the alternative minimum tax form (6251) either. Better known as AMT....not ATM cause you sure as hell don't get money back from this ..........you pay outta the ass.  If you should be so lucky to make over 113K, you might get to fill out this form.

 
It makes little sense that the IRS has to approve part II of this form every year or that they wait until the last minute to reinstate expiring tax breaks. The above said form makes little sense in my opinion. I've been doing taxes for about 25 years now and I've never figured it out. I'm pretty sure anyone doing taxes doesn't understand it either. Not even the CPA's of the world. But who ever said IRS forms made any sense. Even Albert Einstein said,“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.”

 The IRS has also lowered the amount that we will pay in Social Security taxes. A neat little gadget I found can help you see what your withholding from earnings will be. You'll be seeing an increase in your pay check this year. The IRS says this reduction will not affect anyone's Social Security earnings. I suppose in the end those of us who max out the SS taxes will still wind up paying the total amount. I just don't understand how you can be running out of $$ for Social Security and then lower what is collected. Again a government puzzle to try and figure out. Sigh................ As Arthur Godfrey so eloquently put it,  "I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.”

A place called 1040 Central has a lot of information for those "do-it-yourself-ers." Did you know IRS offers FREE e-filing? Yes, yes they do!! Beware though.......I've only used TurboTax for this free service.  Somewhere in the middle of doing your taxes, the program will ask if you want to "maximize" your deductions. If you say yes then it bumps you over to the next level and will charge you for the tax return. You have to start all over in order not to pay.

 The one good thing that has happened this year....the IRS has implemented an act that will require all those preparing taxes to be tested and registered.  As of January 1, 2011, anyone being paid to prepare a tax return MUST be registered and have a PTIN . I'm not sure what the penalty will be if you're not registered but you should know your tax professional. The testing requirement gives us until 2013 to complete but  the test will be out by mid year and I plan to take it ASAP.

I'm not a CPA and really, I have no credentials. I just have my experience and my word that I am up to date on all tax laws. My continuing education equals up to approximately 50 hours every year. People always ask me if I'm a CPA when I say "no", they want to know what I am? I'm sure the IRS will give a cute little title like??? Registered Tax Professional ?? I'm not very inventive maybe the IRS is better?? Either way it is a good thing! There will be accountability for all and required continuing education. This will make it easier for the tax payer to find a reliable tax professional.

A little known fact....CPA's hire regular ole tax people (like me) to prepare taxes each year. Technically the CPA office is responsible for that preparation. The CPA reviews the tax return and will probably be the one who signs it also. Mostly I say this because of the prices people pay to have their taxes done. Know your tax professional.

Last buy not least.......do not ever expect the IRS to send you an e-mail. Don't open it or reply to it. Should you receive an e-mail, KNOW that it is a scam. You can forward this e-mail to the IRS  to help them stop the phishing.

I've always said reading the tax law is like reading the Bible........everyone has their own interpretation. Don't believe me? Call the IRS 3 times with the same question and see if the answers all match.......it's NOT really that bad....I'm just saying............

Dab-a-dib-a-dab-da........ that's all folks!

“Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.” — Will Rogers, humorist

De Big Weiner

 Si Senor, dis star stands fer Texaco! Come in fer yer lube job,

din you weel get a big weiner! Oh, ha! I men, be a big weiner of dis fine Star!

 Susan over at "Stony River"  hosts Microfiction Monday. The idea is to use Susan's picture she posts then compose a story up to and including characters, punctuation marks, etc adding up to 140.

Hopefully I'll be forgiven as a beginner. I went over. 144 characters.