Cotton Fever

I swear to God, if I learn anymore about drug use....I might as well use.......

Ever heard of cotton fever?

Triple D has been at it again. This time it's shooting up. I've read shooting up Oxy, is like shooting up heroin. I found out about this right before Christmas. I start writing up contracts, taking away cell phones, hiding car keys, snooping at e-mail (which I have heard could possibly lead to prison), calling drug dealers and leaving warnings of possible arrest for them, and just plain acting like a chicken with my head cut off.

After trying to get her to leave and not having any proof that she had drugs, I'm told that I must present an eviction notice to get her off my property.

Her second counselor has quit and suggested she attend an out patient program instead Club Rehab. Time and time again, I've been told she needs to grow up. And time and time again, I tell myself  "yes, she does." I say it so often, I think, I'm beginning to believe it??

So we set up the appointment to go to BOAT. I hope no one I ever know needs these services but if you do... I'm the gal to ask! She takes off the night before, after promising she is ready to quit again. She returns home right after her scheduled appointment.......imagine that?

I tell her if she is not serious about quitting she will be leaving a lot sooner than the contracted time because I'm ready to make her life miserable. She is without a way to contact her dealers, but somehow they know what and when she needs to get a "fix."

She goes to the initial meeting at BOAT and is asked to come back the next night for a group meeting. She's been told that she is to have no unsupervised contact with Alexa and if I want I can call the Department of Children and Families. They are already involved because of the older grand girls.......so ........

Before the group meeting Triple D has started to act suspicious. We are in the car. I tell her I KNOW she is shooting up and if she can't get rid of her needles then I'm going to assume she is not serious about this and I'll call the cops and let them search the house. She says she doesn't have any paraphernalia  but as it turns out...after a few minutes, she takes her needle out from hiding and throws it out the car window. I keep driving but my sense of ??? I don't know why I turned around . I didn't want dirty needles laying around my neighborhood for some kid to find? I didn't want her going back and picking it up? I wanted to dispose of it properly??? I don't know but I did go back and get the needle and I cut it up and put it in my needle bin. (I have to take a shot, that's why I have a needle bin). She runs to her bed room crying.

A bit later I'm trying to get dinner ready, cause LL is coming back from her 2 week trip to LA, and I hear Triple D calling me in a frantic voice. I walk into her room and she is shaking so much I think she is about to have a seizure. I ask her if she's got something bad and should I call 911. She says she didn't take anything. I tell her I know she is not going through withdrawals that quickly, so I walk out of the room.

I hear her calling me again and I walk in and she is shaking and sweating and can hardly talk. I tell her I'm going to call 911 but she tells me she has done a cotton wash and she thinks she has cotton fever. Now, I'm thinking, I'll just run to the computer and look it up. I look up cotton wash and am unable to find anything on that. I walk back into the room and she says she is going to throw up but she can't get out of bed. I tell her I don't know what she has done but if the shaking doesn't stop, I'm calling the ambulance. (this is all taking place in the time it is taking you to read it....)

Here let me find a FUCKING vein for you!

She starts to scream at me that she has cotton fever and it's about a bacteria that cotton has in it and it gets into your body when you shoot up. So...........I go to the computer and look up cotton fever. It's not very serious but evidently it is common amongst those who shoot up. After reading the out come of what will happen. I feel like walking in her room and saying GOOD! GOOD! YOU IDIOT!!! I HOPE YOU STAY SICK FOR THE WHOLE 24 HOURS!! I restrained myself.

This is what happened in a nut shell. When you shoot up Oxy/Roxy or anything else, I guess, you have to filter the liquid through the cotton ball to get whatever "stuff" is in it , out. She thought she could take water and shoot it through the used cotton ball and possibly get a bit of the drug left and get a small high. Approximately 30 minutes after she shot up, the effects of cotton fever came on. Evidently there is some sort of bacteria that is in cotton that can cause the symptoms she had.

She has been clean now a week. I can only hope it continues.

FYI

Not quite Tax Day but I like that both parties are involved .....As tax time is nearing,  I probably won't be coming on my blog that often. I'm hoping to just keep up with the other blogs I watch.

Get your shoe boxes ready folks!!

Nothing but problems on the fore front for filing season this year.  To start things off right the IRS has announced that anyone using Schedule A, claiming education credits for students, or teachers claiming the $250 educator expense should wait until the end of February to file.This is due to the late changes in the forms.....

Quoted from the IRS

• Taxpayers claiming itemized deductions on Schedule A. Itemized deductions include mortgage interest, charitable deductions, medical and dental expenses as well as state and local taxes. In addition, itemized deductions include the state and local general sales tax deduction extended in the Tax Relief, Unemployment Insurance Reauthorization, and Job Creation Act of 2010 enacted Dec. 17, which primarily benefits people living in areas without state and local income taxes and is claimed on Schedule A, Line 5. Because of late Congressional action to enact tax law changes, anyone who itemizes and files a Schedule A will need to wait to file until mid- to late February.
  
  
• Taxpayers claiming the Higher Education Tuition and Fees Deduction. This deduction for parents and students — covering up to $4,000 of tuition and fees paid to a post-secondary institution — is claimed on Form 8917. However, the IRS emphasized that there will be no delays for millions of parents and students who claim other education credits, including the American Opportunity Tax Credit and Lifetime Learning Credit.
  
  
• Taxpayers claiming the Educator Expense Deduction. This deduction is for kindergarten through grade 12 educators with out-of-pocket classroom expenses of up to $250. The educator expense deduction is claimed on Form 1040, Line 23, and Form 1040A, Line 16.

A BIG problem for me is that my tax program didn't convert over all the information for last year's returns......like.... carry over losses and depreciation. GGGRRRRRRR The company that has the program hasn't updated the alternative minimum tax form (6251) either. Better known as AMT....not ATM cause you sure as hell don't get money back from this ..........you pay outta the ass.  If you should be so lucky to make over 113K, you might get to fill out this form.

 
It makes little sense that the IRS has to approve part II of this form every year or that they wait until the last minute to reinstate expiring tax breaks. The above said form makes little sense in my opinion. I've been doing taxes for about 25 years now and I've never figured it out. I'm pretty sure anyone doing taxes doesn't understand it either. Not even the CPA's of the world. But who ever said IRS forms made any sense. Even Albert Einstein said,“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.”

 The IRS has also lowered the amount that we will pay in Social Security taxes. A neat little gadget I found can help you see what your withholding from earnings will be. You'll be seeing an increase in your pay check this year. The IRS says this reduction will not affect anyone's Social Security earnings. I suppose in the end those of us who max out the SS taxes will still wind up paying the total amount. I just don't understand how you can be running out of $$ for Social Security and then lower what is collected. Again a government puzzle to try and figure out. Sigh................ As Arthur Godfrey so eloquently put it,  "I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.”

A place called 1040 Central has a lot of information for those "do-it-yourself-ers." Did you know IRS offers FREE e-filing? Yes, yes they do!! Beware though.......I've only used TurboTax for this free service.  Somewhere in the middle of doing your taxes, the program will ask if you want to "maximize" your deductions. If you say yes then it bumps you over to the next level and will charge you for the tax return. You have to start all over in order not to pay.

 The one good thing that has happened this year....the IRS has implemented an act that will require all those preparing taxes to be tested and registered.  As of January 1, 2011, anyone being paid to prepare a tax return MUST be registered and have a PTIN . I'm not sure what the penalty will be if you're not registered but you should know your tax professional. The testing requirement gives us until 2013 to complete but  the test will be out by mid year and I plan to take it ASAP.

I'm not a CPA and really, I have no credentials. I just have my experience and my word that I am up to date on all tax laws. My continuing education equals up to approximately 50 hours every year. People always ask me if I'm a CPA when I say "no", they want to know what I am? I'm sure the IRS will give a cute little title like??? Registered Tax Professional ?? I'm not very inventive maybe the IRS is better?? Either way it is a good thing! There will be accountability for all and required continuing education. This will make it easier for the tax payer to find a reliable tax professional.

A little known fact....CPA's hire regular ole tax people (like me) to prepare taxes each year. Technically the CPA office is responsible for that preparation. The CPA reviews the tax return and will probably be the one who signs it also. Mostly I say this because of the prices people pay to have their taxes done. Know your tax professional.

Last buy not least.......do not ever expect the IRS to send you an e-mail. Don't open it or reply to it. Should you receive an e-mail, KNOW that it is a scam. You can forward this e-mail to the IRS  to help them stop the phishing.

I've always said reading the tax law is like reading the Bible........everyone has their own interpretation. Don't believe me? Call the IRS 3 times with the same question and see if the answers all match.......it's NOT really that bad....I'm just saying............

Dab-a-dib-a-dab-da........ that's all folks!

“Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.” — Will Rogers, humorist

De Big Weiner

 Si Senor, dis star stands fer Texaco! Come in fer yer lube job,

din you weel get a big weiner! Oh, ha! I men, be a big weiner of dis fine Star!

 Susan over at "Stony River"  hosts Microfiction Monday. The idea is to use Susan's picture she posts then compose a story up to and including characters, punctuation marks, etc adding up to 140.

Hopefully I'll be forgiven as a beginner. I went over. 144 characters. 

You Slut, You Whore, You Prostitue??

I may not be much on grammar but I do love the English language. I love the play on words that some people use and I love finding the meaning to words.  Bob studied Latin in high school and since then, I've also been interested in the origin of a word. To find a new word and actually be able to use it daily, makes my heart sing.

The words.... slut, whore, and prostitute... has always given me cause to go back to the dictionary and rethink their use . My girlfriends and I have had many conversations on them. 

According to dictionary.com the meaning of these words are as follows:

SLUT :

1. a dirty, slovenly woman.

2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

 

WHORE: 

1. a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.

 

Prostitute: 

1. a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money; whore; harlot.

2. a person who willingly uses his or her talent or ability in a base and unworthy way, usually for money.

 

I can remember when I first met The Engineer, my mom said to me, "you'll never make a good prostitue.". I looked at her in a puzzled, but not surprised, fashion and asked her why not. She said, "because you give it away." Well, we all know what "it" is and I was never sure that was true, but......

 

Probably a year into our relationship, a friend of mine was moving to Germany and couldn't take her 2nd car. It was a 65 Mercedes. It was old and beat up. She only wanted $300 for it. The Engineer bought it for me. So when my mom asked why he had done that I casually said "back pay!". She gasped.... hey! What do mom's know anyhow??? I know, I know.....300 dollars is a small amount for a year's worth of sex. What can I say....I'm cheap!! Right?

On to the meaning of the 3 words..............

In my humble opinion the real meaning should read:

Slut: 

one who will have sex with anything.  

 

Whore:

one who has sex for pleasure and may sometimes get paid.

 

Prostitute: 

what we all are in one way or other (definition 2)

There are other words I could throw in here like, you hussy, you strumpet. Why you, you harlot, you tramp....

 

But none of them sounds so good as  YOU  BITCH! YOU SLUT! YOU WHORE!! Ever been to the Howl at the Moon Saloon? You'll hear this chant when they sing different songs. When we went to the one in Miami,  I won a bumper sticker (for MY bumper)  for doing a line dance to New York, New York!!

 

 

 

oops off topic............

 

 

 

You can call me a whore if you wish. I won't be offended!

 

 Merry Christmas Ya'll

Starring: The Engineer (singer) Baby (drums) LemonLady(guitar player with tongue) Princess in Training (guitar) Triple D (guitar)

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Meditation

The internet is out at my house. Triple D is making me CRAZY

Serenity Prayer..........

For today I will:

Go to Barnes &Noble

get on the net

and

Order a Venti

 

Double Expresso Mocha Frappuccino 

Secrets

ChaMy life is pretty much an open book. I don't have too many problems "airing the dirty laundry."

I've often wondered about people holding secrets. I can remember when Clyde was diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar disorder; the doctor asked me if there was anyone in the family that had experienced depression. I told them that my older son was always depressed.  The psychologist asked if there was alcoholism in the family. I said "yes sireee, yes indeedy." He asked if anyone had a thyroid problem. I told him not that I knew of .  As it turns out, when most people having bipolar disorder  track the family history they find a common ground with these 3 things.

I remember calling mom later that day and asking her questions about the family. I asked if there had been any depression or mental illnesses in the family. She said no one was ever diagnosed but  then she relayed all sorts of information about my dad's side of the family. For instance, my Uncle Jerry had been admitted to a Psych Unit after dangling his, now ex wife, out the 3rd floor window of their apartment. Then the story was told of my Uncle Vannie who spent time in Chattahoochee State Mental Hospital  after going into DTs. She didn't relay any information about her family.

I didn't even ask about my dad's family and drinking. We all knew that my dad's mom and dad were alcoholic and  so were all 3 of his brothers.  My dad and his sister were the only 2 in the family who were able to drink sensibly. I knew my mom had had a drinking problem in her younger years.My sister and I had our fair share of drinking episodes too. (Little did I know that my brother and my oldest son would soon have their own drinking problems) When I asked about my mom's side of the family, she just said that her dad had drank in his early years.

I questioned her about thyroid problems and no one had any problems as far as she knew (later both my sister and mom were diagnosed with hypothyroidism, completing the "3")

The Engineer's mom and I would have all sorts of discussions about depression and alcohol use. The Engineer's paternal great grandfather had committed suicide. There was no "alcohol abuse"  noted in his family. There were no mental illnesses beside what the great grandfather may have had.

Several years later my mom's brother committed suicide. I asked my mom if she had any idea that he was  depressed. She told me about his attempts at suicide and his alcoholism in prior years. He had been in a sever state of depression since his wife had died (at this time I don't remember how long she had been dead before his tragic death).

I asked her why she never told me when I first asked and she said, "I didn't want to air the family's dirty laundry." She didn't mind airing dad's but she wasn't going to tell her family's secrets.

So now we are in the present day and I have no  problems telling anyone anything about my family.My philosophy is: the more who know the more likely you'll be informed if they see something. Example: If I pretend there is no problem keep the secret of Triple D's drug abuse, then my friend who saw Triple D coming out of  crack town might not want to be the first person to tell me they saw her.They know I know and tell me immediately if they see her.

My older grand girls have been raised to keep secrets not air the family dirt by their mom and their mom's side of the family. What I'm finding out at this time would make your straight hair kink up like your pubes.

I think it comes down to a matter of trust for the girls. Can they trust me with the information they are giving me?  What am I going to do with the information when I find out?

If you cover your eyes do things not exist? If you cover your ears is there really no scream? 

Are family secrets kept because of embarrassment or are they kept because of fear?

Just Because I'm Paranoid Doesn't Mean They Aren't After Me

"They" think they will make me crazy and I'll forget what really happened.

NO SIR-EEE...... I will not forget.

We've never locked our doors. The only time there has ever been a break in or things stolen was whenever "Clyde" lived here or in the area. When he came home in 2003 things happened again.
The neighbors had their car broken into and things were stolen. Our truck  gotten broken into and an old tennis racket and some home made CDs were stolen. Clyde wasn't even at home the night it happened but my first thought was "he's keeping his hand in it." (we never found the robber)

So ........

Strange things are happening again. Triple D has been good (I think?). I've got the older grand girls  and they are good (I think?). Of course, there is the Engineer (he's gone a lot?) and Baby (she's too young?). Oh yeah, and me (I didn't do it? Did I?)

Case of the Missing Credit Card

This morning I get to the check out at the grocery and go to use the card and it's missing. I gave it to Triple D to put gas in her car on Sunday night. It was returned promptly and I checked my account on-line to make sure there was only one charge.  I call Triple D and ask her if she still has it. She says she thought she gave it back to me. I tell her it's not in my wallet and she says she doesn't know. I head home. In my mind, I retrace my steps trying to remember what happened. I remember I gave the card to Triple D to put gas in her car on Sunday night. She sent a text to me and told me she put it on the counter. Sometime after 12:30 a.m. Monday, I get up and check the counter. It is there.  I take the card and for what ever reason put it into an envelope that the Engineer has left on the counter. Monday morning around 7:30 a.m. I take the card out of the envelope and insert $20, then seal the envelope. I put the envelope and , I thought, my card in my purse. Something isn't right??

I get home and check the on-line account and it still says the same thing. No pending charges, No new charges. I ask Triple D again. She says she gave it to me. I tell her again I don't have it. She says it might be in her car. I say where?" Then she says or it might be right there in the top dresser drawer. I open it and say "just laying on top?" She says, "Maybe under some stuff." After shuffling papers, I find it buried under a tray. 

I give her a puzzled look and ask why she took it. She says she didn't take it. She says she guesses she never gave it back. I shake my head and leave the room. When I get into the kitchen, I realize that what she said didn't make any sense, since I had just done the "retrace in my head."  I go back into her room and ask her why she took my card. She covers her head and says, "I don't know."  The suspicion hackles come up immediately and I start watching her like a hawk.

Tonight I came home from tennis and asked again why she took my card. Her excuse was she was afraid that I wasn't going to give her anymore money for gas. I asked her if she took it out of my purse. She smiled sweetly and said, "no mom, you left it on the counter. "  I probably did leave the card on the counter but I think she is just trying to keep "her hands in it." Damn kids......

Case Closed

I was distressed over this and talked about it with a counselor friend of mine. According to the counselor, Triple D will have these fleeting moments because her brain is still not back to "normal." "Picking up" the card was not right but she stopped short of using it for other purposes. Her drug abuse caused her to lose her moral values and then the stealing and lying became a habit. I don't really get it but , I suppose, I'll take the counselor's word on it.......

Creative Juices? NOT!

I wish I were more creative. I've sat at my computer for more hours than I wanted and I've read what others have posted and I can't think of  a thing to write about.

I thought maybe I'd write about the ridiculous dress codes that middle school has and how sometimes certain things are allowed because of body shape and size and not the length or lack of covering. I can't because it's too aggravating.

I thought I'd write about the time I went to Germany with my long time friend, Ethel.
I can't. I miss her too much to reminisce.

I thought about writing about the TSA. It's already been done and frankly Scarlet I don't give a damn.

I thought about doing Mama Kat's Workshop this week but nothing on this list inspired me (because I have no creative juices). Here's what it is this week.

1.) Have you ever had a fight with a long time best friend and never made up? Do you think about her from time to time and think about contacting her? What would you say? What if it didn't work out? What if it did? I never fought with a friend that I didn't apologize immediately

2.) The perfect fall photo...share a picture that defines fall for you in your neck of the woods. I need to call Kelly or Dumdad . I don't do photos.... at least, not good ones. OH! Plus I live in Florida and there is NO fall.........blah.............

3.) CONTROVERSY! Are the new security measures performed by the TSA really that bad? Take a stance! See above paragraph about not giving a damn.

4.) What inspires you to write? Problems? If there are none at the moment.......well........there are none at the moment.

5.) "If you could relive any moment in your life, what moment would you choose?  Write about it." That is also above about Ethel and if I knew what I know today, I'd have done more traveling with her. Shit! Now I'm depressed.

I see posts about all sorts of things that are funny and I can't think of a single thing to write about that that would make someone laugh.

I could have written about the drudgery of household chores.....sweep....mop....dust....Boring!

I could have written an essay about what I'm having for dinner.....put chicken in the oven...VOILÀ ..Baked Chicken......Boring!

I could have written about how awesome I played tennis last night....sigh....I won......too bragg-y.

I could have written about how wonderful it is to have a husband out of town every other week......NOT!

I could write about what the IRS agent says to me this morning when I go to work....If I go to work...hum....maybe later.

My Never Ending Story

The Engineer is out of town, once again. He was gone for 2 weeks and home for the Thanksgiving Holidays.

When he comes home, he can't figure out why no one is relying on him to take care of things.

The household runs with or without him. It is a finely tuned ship.

The laundry gets done. The trash gets down to the road. The dishes get in the dishwasher. The house gets locked up at night. Pick up and drop offs are all arranged before hand. Times are coordinated with synchronized watches.

This weeks calendar in short form:

-School for the Grand girls starting at 7:30 a.m. each morning and finishing up at 5 p.m in the evening.
-The older grand girls sit down to do homework at 8:00 p.m. sharp.
-Tennis for me Monday morning at 8 a.m. and 7 p.m.
-Doctors at 9 a.m. for Princess in Training on Tuesday
-Tennis for me at 7 p.m.
-Wednesday Doctor of Triple D at 9 a.m. and Lemon Lady at 3 p.m.
-Work for me on Wednesday somewhere in between doctors' appointments.
-Probation for Triple D on Wednesday in the afternoon.
-Thursday Tennis for me at 8 a.m.
-Friday meal planning then shopping for it all. Bills are paid this day too.
-Saturday is the fun day.......house keeping has been put off for more days than not. Laundry, cleaning, yard work (if The Engineer is home...I don't do yard work)
-Sunday is Tennis for the Engineer and I at 9 a.m.
-Football is watched with great gusto!

Somewhere in between all these activities, I find the time to delegate chores for a nominal fee (allowance),cook, love, and get on the computer to whine about it all. Secretly my life is full! I HATE empty nests.

This is my purpose in life. I am happiest when my plate is OVER full. I leave no scraps.

Am I bragging that I can do this all again? Maybe just a bit...

Am I wanting someone to look at me and say WOW!! Probably......

Isn't this what being co-dependent is all about?? ME???

I may not be the best at raising kids but I'm getting my fair share of chances to get it right!

Touch

Beksinski

One touch is all it took

To take me back in time.

The time when our bodies were

Young,

Strong,

Impassioned,

Insatiable .

Memories of Thanksgiving Past

pi
I don't remember any Holiday dinners at anyone's house except ours. I'm sure there were but none were as memorable.

My mom was never a very good cook. When she cooked any meat it had to be well done. Not the well done that falls off the bone but the well done that is so dry you needed some sort of gravy, applesauce, or mashed potatoes to dip it in so you could get it down your throat. The vegetables were what fell apart. There was no texture to them. They were  mostly mush usually filled with bacon grease. I had always wished my dad would do all the cooking. He did the breakfast meals but never dinner unless it was on the grill.

UH...before I get too distracted ........this is what I remember of our "traditional" Thanksgiving dinner.

Our dining room table seemed to me to fit the whole world around it. I guess in a sense this was my whole world. My granddad was always at the head of the table. Even when my other grandparents were there, they deferred to him. Grandma sat to his left and my Aunt Addie (my mom's sister) sat to his right. The rest of the seating, as far as I remember, was random. I don't remember ever sitting at the "kids table". They got stuck in the kitchen far away from all the excitement.

Pistachio salad....looks like puke to me

The dinner consisted of : Turkey dry as dirt, dressing, pistachio salad (which we all hated), Chocolate Pie (because dad demanded it), Lemon Pie (because mom couldn't live without it), the rest were just random vegetables. Our table was boisterous and loud. My granddad slopping his food in his mouth like a hog dying of starvation. My grandmother's continuous hisses of "Richard! Stop!". My mother's incessant jabbering of who has pissed her off and who is going to send the cheapest Christmas presents this year and the constant yelling from dining room to kitchen at the kids to "stop playing and finish eating."

  unusual? I found an article the crying chair.

The most vivid memory that I have, though, is of  my Aunt Addie. She sat in what we have forever labeled "the crying chair." None of us could ever figure out what would set her off, we just knew it was always going to happen. It would start with a sniffle and a tear, soon becoming racking sobs with her embarrassed giggles in between.

It became a great fascination of mine. I would try to figure out when and why it would happen. I never could. I was also terrified of that chair. In my  family you could be pissed, loud, and/or obnoxious but crying was not allowed. Today, I realize that Aunt Addie was the emotional one in the family.

myself with my extended family

When I met The Engineer, I found a very different way of celebrating a Holiday.  Smiles, conversation and good cheer! There was no yelling, cursing, or cut downs. There was no crying, dry turkey, or pistachio salad.

Gigi (the Engineer's mom) would create ambrosia. To have lasagna or a rib roast for dinner was the norm in this Italian family. The vegetables were crisp and seasoned with herbs and a bit of butter. There were no turkeys. There was no kids table. If the whole family was in town, we would head over  to the beach cottage, food packed in cars, where a table could accommodate the 4 siblings, their wives and all the kids.

The family sat around the table each year and reminisced about Holiday's past. There was always some story about The Engineer or one of his brothers There was plenty of wine and after dinner drinks to go round but there were no crazy drunks. (Drinking wasn't allowed at our home because of the obnoxious drunks in our family).

Today, our traditional dinner is a blend of both our families,I suppose. We sometimes have the destroyers (crazy obnoxious 'substant abusers') and we sometimes have the reminiscing family stories. We have the yelling and the smiles. We have the traditionally dry turkey and the Italian Lasagna. I strive for ambrosia but sometimes don't succeed. No one complains too much...........

We left behind the kids table, the pistachio salad and most importantly "the crying chair."

Happy Birthday To Me!!

My Mom

This is going to be a bitch session tribute to my mom. Her birthday is coming soon. Actually her birthday is coming on the same day as mine.

I talk to my mom at least once a week. She lives in North Carolina  with dad. My sis lives "in town" and my brother lives a few hours away. I'm always amazed when they bitch about how mom bothers them. I'm always the first to tell them they should be thankful that she is so close. I remind them that they can have holidays and visits anytime they choose.

So anyway......Mom is a smart ass and doesn't even realize it. She doesn't think before commenting on most anything.

I'd like to blame it on her almost being 72 but she's acted like this all her life. My sister once asked if I thought she acted this way because of   the tumor they removed from her brain.....she was blank for a long time. My dad actually asked for her doctor to continue the anti-seizure meds. because it made her so mellow.

My mom claims to be a Christian. The years growing up at home made me loath the faith. If I asked a question about religion, I'd be called a heathen. I remember once asking why we were not allowed to marry a black person.....She proceeds with....if god had meant for us to cohabitate he would not have destroyed the work on the Tower of Babel. My granddad was Jewish (by faith when he was young.)  My dad's dad claimed to be a Spaniard and my dad's mom was Cherokee (how much more can a couple look dark without being??) Go figure...god changed their color too? I guess I am a Heathen?? Whatever......

 Mostly anything you don't agree with makes you suspect in mom's eyes. She will argue anyone down on any subject. An example........my sis has medium length hair. Mom says "oh you've never had your hair that short before". My sis has always kept her hair in the Dorothy Hamil style. She has just recently started to grow it out. My mom argued for 20 minutes with my sis on the subject of her hair length. I don't know why sis continued to argue.This is the BIG difference in myself and my siblings. I don't argue with her. I usually say, "WHAT. EVER. MOM."  and change the subject.


When my aunt died she told her brother "well, if she'd taken better care of herself, this would have never happened."

The on going thing she does is to play my bro and sis against each other. She will tell my brother that my sister said something about him and then she will tell my sister what he said in answer to that.There have been times when they would have nothing to do with each other...and it was all because of  dear ole mom. I don't know if she gets pleasure in this sort of thing or if she truly has no idea that she is causing hell and havoc.

My dad doesn't say much. He sleeps a lot. He works a lot. He tries to stay out of her way for the most part. My baggage was not only anger at mom but at dad too. He didn't argue, he didn't stand up for himself or his kids. He kept his mouth shut for the sake of peace.

I could go on and on since I've dealt with her for almost 54 years.....but I won't. I'll get down to the reason for my rant.

I was talking to her the other night. I asked if she had heard from my niece, my brother's child. She said she had talked to my brother and he asked her not to say anything negative to his kid (she is pregnant). She said, "oh why would I ever do that?" Then she told me what she said to my niece...... " I can only hope that you will be a better parent than someone else that I know." I kind of freaked out for a moment. No one has ever been good enough for my brother according to mom. I am NOT believing she had just cut my niece's mom down to her face.

I say, "mom that was negative."
She says, "why??"
I say, "you just cut her mom down."
She says, "no I didn't."

I say, "what???"

She says, "I was talking about Triple D."

OH!MY! FUCKING! GOD!

 I'm pissed. I tell my mom that she is not a very nice person and that I hope she has not relayed Triple D's problems to my niece. She says she told my niece who she was talking about.  I tell my mom that she has no clue what kind of mom Triple D is. Then she drops the kicker.

"Well I do know how Triple D is because you always tell me."  

She's got me there, I guess. That will teach me to vent to my mom. I should have remembered that she uses your weaknesses against you. 

My vow:

to never tell her anything but positive things about Triple D and to be more understanding when my siblings get pissed.

 

So Happy Fucking Birthday Mom!!