I talk to my mom at least once a week. She lives in North Carolina with dad. My sis lives "in town" and my brother lives a few hours away. I'm always amazed when they bitch about how mom bothers them. I'm always the first to tell them they should be thankful that she is so close. I remind them that they can have holidays and visits anytime they choose.
So anyway......Mom is a smart ass and doesn't even realize it. She doesn't think before commenting on most anything.
I'd like to blame it on her almost being 72 but she's acted like this all her life. My sister once asked if I thought she acted this way because of the tumor they removed from her brain.....she was blank for a long time. My dad actually asked for her doctor to continue the anti-seizure meds. because it made her so mellow.
Mostly anything you don't agree with makes you suspect in mom's eyes. She will argue anyone down on any subject. An example........my sis has medium length hair. Mom says "oh you've never had your hair that short before". My sis has always kept her hair in the Dorothy Hamil style. She has just recently started to grow it out. My mom argued for 20 minutes with my sis on the subject of her hair length. I don't know why sis continued to argue.This is the BIG difference in myself and my siblings. I don't argue with her. I usually say, "WHAT. EVER. MOM." and change the subject.
When my aunt died she told her brother "well, if she'd taken better care of herself, this would have never happened."
The on going thing she does is to play my bro and sis against each other. She will tell my brother that my sister said something about him and then she will tell my sister what he said in answer to that.There have been times when they would have nothing to do with each other...and it was all because of dear ole mom. I don't know if she gets pleasure in this sort of thing or if she truly has no idea that she is causing hell and havoc.
My dad doesn't say much. He sleeps a lot. He works a lot. He tries to stay out of her way for the most part. My baggage was not only anger at mom but at dad too. He didn't argue, he didn't stand up for himself or his kids. He kept his mouth shut for the sake of peace.
I could go on and on since I've dealt with her for almost 54 years.....but I won't. I'll get down to the reason for my rant.
I was talking to her the other night. I asked if she had heard from my niece, my brother's child. She said she had talked to my brother and he asked her not to say anything negative to his kid (she is pregnant). She said, "oh why would I ever do that?" Then she told me what she said to my niece...... " I can only hope that you will be a better parent than someone else that I know." I kind of freaked out for a moment. No one has ever been good enough for my brother according to mom. I am NOT believing she had just cut my niece's mom down to her face.
I say, "mom that was negative."
She says, "why??"
I say, "you just cut her mom down."
She says, "no I didn't."
I say, "what???"
She says, "I was talking about Triple D."
OH!MY! FUCKING! GOD!
I'm pissed. I tell my mom that she is not a very nice person and that I hope she has not relayed Triple D's problems to my niece. She says she told my niece who she was talking about. I tell my mom that she has no clue what kind of mom Triple D is. Then she drops the kicker.
"Well I do know how Triple D is because you always tell me."
She's got me there, I guess. That will teach me to vent to my mom. I should have remembered that she uses your weaknesses against you.
My vow:
to never tell her anything but positive things about Triple D and to be more understanding when my siblings get pissed.
So Happy Fucking Birthday Mom!!
