I read in this book that the things people most want to change about themselves are sometimes not done because they have different connotations. Good and Evil counterparts. For instance....I am an enabler. The meaning of that is that I help too much. My helping could be a means of controlling too. That's the bad part of my "being". On the other hand the good part is that I AM an enabler. Another word for that might be a nurturer.......a caregiver.......a help mate.
I've decided that you may call me an enabler if you wish but I do not do it to control. I do it because I love.
and YES, I could love you to death so be careful!
Well I hardly know where to begin it's been so long.
I think I'm just now coming out of a depressive state.....I think.
I'm not quite sure cause I still have a hard time concentrating and staying still.
I have my nights of no sleep and my days of crying.
I know that basically the last time I wrote my friend had died. I think for me that was the beginning of the end. My depression set in full force.
Other things have happened. Triple D has been gone for almost a year now. She lives south of us about 2 hours away. Her daughter went to live with "dad" and the control freak who if she ever gets divorced will become the wicked step-mom. GRRRRR
Triple D is doing ok for the moment. She has had a couple of relapses since she has been gone but she is taking care of her shit for the most part. She has a job, lives in a half way house, and goes to more meetings a week than I care to count.
My boys are ok too, although, the Musician can't quite decide how he is going to make a living.
The Lemon, my oldest granddaughter, still lives with me. She is the sweetest most considerate person I've ever known. She worries about the craziest things. She attends high school and college. This time next year she will graduate with her high school diploma as well as her AA. She is truly amazing but like anyone else she DOES have her moments.
The other grand girl went back home to mom back in January......geesh....was it last year? 2011? Hum.....where have I been? She will be 14 in a couple of days and she has pretty much decided not to talk to me unless, of course, she wants something.
I've been knitting and knitting and playing tennis and playing tennis and studying for the exam for the IRS (which I've passed!!)
I have 2 shawls, a size 48 Aran sweater, 2 pair of socks, a soap sachet, and a pillow all on needles right now. This year so far I've completed 2 sweaters, 3 shawls, 1 pair of socks and a partridge in a pear tree (not really but I thought that sounded like it went along with all that!).
So we are all caught up..........now to go try to read some blogs
